Medications sure can help your relationship – as can non-medicinal treatments!  But the spouse with the ADHD may not realize it – that’s where you need to give him (or her) some constructive feedback.  This comment is typical of what happens:

A woman who has been married for 3 years to a man who was diagnosed with ADD after they got married, has taken the time to write to me quite a bit about her situation.  It is one that I recognize, as it closely mirrors the situation I had in the beginning of my own marriage.  One of the key issues is that she and her husband had a wonderful courtship, during which he “hyperfocused” on her (though neither knew that this was the case as it was happening).  Now she is desperate to feel loved and in the kind of relationship her courtship had led her to expect, but she finds her spouse unrecognizable.  Not only does he not connect with her, but he dismisses her concerns about their lack of connection, leaving her frequently in tears.  She is “in shock because I feel as if the person I fell in love with doesn’t exist”.

Sari Solden discusses ways in which individuals with ADHD can more effectively communicate with their partners.