Chances are, you’ve heard that tone of voice. The one that sounds demeaning to you…aggressive…just short of an insult and a put down…the tone that puts your teeth on edge.
Chances are also good that you’ve not only heard it, but used it yourself…and your partner hates it.
How to help couples understand the destructiveness and intertwined nature of many of their interactions? I was reading a novel the other day about civil war (an apt analogy for many ADHD marriages!) and came across some ideas that I think can help describe why couples get into negative patterns even when neither one of them wants to.
I was reminded the other day of one of the most frustrating things about relationships where one spouse is ADHD and the other is not – that is the feeling that you are experiencing the same problems over and over and over again (and again)! Breaking out of this cycle – which is very exasperating for all – is critical to building a better relationship. Attitude, believe it or not, and specific communication skills, are the key to moving forward.
