You’ve just discovered that your partner is having an emotional or physical affair.  This revelation has been a kick in the gut – the emotional pain is intense and confusing.  You feel angry, volatile, are in intense pain, and perhaps feel panicked and fearful. Your partner’s response to these feelings seems inadequate, at best.  How do you traverse this new territory?

Statistics about how many couples are impacted by one or more emotional or physical affairs are hard to believe, for obvious reasons, not least of which is that estimates vary so widely.  They range from 20-60% of men and 20-40% of women having an affair at some point in their relationship.  No matter the exact number, the bottom line is that a large number of couples experience this form of betrayal at some point in their partnership, often after that affair has been going on for a while. 

Why do partners struggle so much with porn use?  What's the big deal?  This article provides my observations based upon working with couples faced with this issue.