Sometimes it feels like you're in a bind – you want to communicate that something is bothering you, but you're trying hard not to nag or parent your ADHD partner.  If you don’t say anything, chances are good that not much will change.  But if you suggest something got forgotten again, it sounds like a critique.  What do you do?

All of us have bad days sometimes…even bad months or longer.  I’m having one right now that has to do with my negative feelings about the impact of my husband’s job in our lives.  The problem is, my responses are making things worse.  As always, you can learn from my mistakes - in this case about how NOT to approach your partner.

Do you, like many other couples, find yourselves arguing over whether or not something happened a certain way in the past?  Whether or not you’ve discussed a specific subject?  Wondering whether your partner was actually THERE when you were talking about something with him or her?  If so, you’ve probably experienced the “he said/she said” argument – the one that goes like this:

When you're trying repeatedly to get an ADHD spouse to "respond" to your requests it's hard not to get into nagging mode.  But non-ADHD spouses need to avoid chronic nagging patterns if they are to be successful, happy partners.  This is much harder than it sounds. 

I know what it’s like to be a non-ADD spouse and discover that you no longer like yourself.  Many here have the same problem – they have struggled so long, and are so exhausted, that they can no longer find the core of who they are. I would like to share with you my own story of how I moved from disliking myself back to “being me” as well as provide some ideas for change that may help you.