Hello,

I have been with my fiancee for 2 years now and we have differences in our life styles. I come from a family where you keep striving to grow and get better, while my fiancee's family is very much laid back and dont have too many "success" stories (for whatever financially related). 

All this time I thought that is the issue. He kept saying he wants more, and tries for more. But all I kept seeing, is that he "tries" when I bring it up, and then forgets or lets it "loose" (such as look for a new job, purchase a house, even fix things around the house). So when he is told, he will start a "project" but if its something that requires time, he will forget to follow up on it later. Another issue is that he does not think everything through - I might be picky on this, since I like to think about every scenario and everything possible but I feel like unless I tell him "you need to think it through..." - it doesn't happen. Of course he also doesn't come up with ideas, or suggestions on new things to do, only does the things I mention. I will say when he wants to do something, he can get it done perfectly. He is smart, and when he is committed to something, he gets it done well. He also speaks with people normally. 

We always have arguments in this area. He mentioned he took Concerta when in college for a bit. But I honestly don't think he has an actual problem. He is definitely not hyper. He is currently studying for his master's and has no problem completing tasks or that's what it looks like (he is only part time since he also works). 
I tend to think he is just more careless about things.  His job is with people and I am now understanding he is not successful there either (others get promoted but not him). So I don't know what to think.

Does anyone think this is ADHD or ADD? Now that I am thinking about it, I am scared this can be transferred to our future kids.

Thank you!