I feel so strange,very strange and uncomfortable also very stupid,I don't know what to do, I am confuse,he confuses me,and he has me thinking the pain would go away when it is still right there.He hurts me a lot and he can't see how much he is hurting me,I love him to much to be true,I was always able to leave a past boyfriend before who even tempted to cause me pain but,this one is hard for me, I am so not happy.I am not happy now, and then tomorrow I am, and then again "mix feelings" I am always having these mix feelings,Today I woke up knowing the day would be strange and uncomfortable,Today is Sunday,every Sunday is the same thing that I go through with him,he is expecting me to mother him and I can't mother him,I have two kids of my own to take care of and my plate is already full,he is making empty promises and he never keeps them,I want go to school soon, to further study my future fields career,and he is promising to pay for it when today he could not even buy our groceries or did not want to because he feels I should take care of him at times,he is not the person I thought I married,he is completely different.Today I had to stay in bed because it's Sunday,and it's the day I go back home because I run my business at home and I don't live with him during the week,only on Fridays thru Sundays I would spend the nights,and during the week I go and spend a few hours,On Sundays I must not "EVER" come out of bed until he is awake,only to use the bathroom if I have to then straight back to bed,I did mention this in a next post but I had to mention it again since it's a regular thing and it is very wrong soooo very wrong, I don't know what to do about this behavior again,he forces me to do things for him when I am overwhelmed with my own things already, I have so many things going on for me right now that I can't even breath.Why,oh my my,I have to do his laundry,clean,the only thing he does is cook then complains I don't do it, when he takes over the kitchen from me,he says it makes him feel good,it's self stimulating and helps him with his ADHD he says,but then "blames me for not doing it",he goes to the casino and spends out his money when we should be using it for so many important things and then "can't" or "won't" for fit the grocery bill,, and if he does he is cold and dazed for the whole day, and he makes me feel so guilty,I have to keep my money to take care of my own home and I can't run his also,he wants me to buy things for him and spend my money on him.He would sometimes spend money on me also but then is if I have to return it back and "all" the time,I feel so used and strange right now, and I have no more hope for my marriage,he would complain that I can't or won't live with him but I really "don't" want to even if I could because of this strangeness I am feeling with him so constantly and nonstop.For me the weekends is too overbearing already much less permanent.Maybe I have to find my way without him soon, this can't go on for too much longer it's to much to bear.

love or no love no one should be treated this way and like this,I know what is wrong from right and this is very wrong!!!!! he says its my fault b/c I am 16 years younger than him and I need to grow up,but little does he knows that I am more grown than him and he has the body of a man but the thinking of a child.

lovehurts.