We are going on 3 years next week. He is a good guy that refuses to admit he has this illness. He drives me nuts! I actually talked him into going to a couples therapy session and he told the therapist "there is nothing wrong with me". I walked out crying so hard I could barely walk. As much as I love him I want to strangle him 90% of the time. He is super hyperactive from dawn until bedtime. He is a trucker so he is only home on weekends and when he is home I am lucky to get to sleep by 2 or 3 in the morning as he won't stop talking. He will stay on his computer for hours (I have to beg him to spend time with me), then he keeps me up until 2 or 3 in the morning repeating things he has already told me several times. He calls me at least 20 times a day when he is working, only to tell me the same things over and over again in every single conversation (usually complaining about something or someone). He is a total hypocrite. He puts people down then turns around and does the exact thing he spent 3 days complaining about somebody else doing. He is very loving and affectionate but we have no sex life. He shows absolutely no interest in sex. He would rather spend time on his computer or tinkering with our cars. We only make love once every 3-4 months and even then I feel like he is doing it just to make me happy. I have been told that he probably just "lost interest" but there is more to it than that. I don't doubt he loves me, he is just incapable of showing it in the way that I need. He is a wonderful provider and buys me a lot of nice stuff. But when I try to talk about how I feel he just shuts down on me. We have no emotional bond or communication. He only hears what he wants to hear, and if I am having a problem his answer is, "just get over it".... he shows no emotion other than anger, and he has a tendency to just blurt things out- he can be very cruel and hurtful, but doesn't recall saying what he said 5 minutes later. He even denies saying it, but he always apologizes. He has never been abusive or physically harmed me, but the toll on my emotional health is another story. I can tell him something several times, and he responds, even converses about it, but later acts like I never told him about it. He always waits to do everything at the last minute. If we have plans to go to a movie or meet people for dinner I have to lie and tell him it starts earlier than it really does or we are late every single time. I am now on anxiety medication and sleeping pills just to deal with this relationship. He talks about quitting trucking and opening a repair shop here where we live (he is a mechanical genius). I can barely deal with him being home 2 days a week, how am I going to cope with him being home all of the time??? I don't want to start over and find someone else at my age...I really do love him and I want to make this work, but I get so frustrated and angry...does anyone else feel this way?? I would appreciate any advice or words of encouragement so very much. Thank you!!!!
He is in denial and I am frustrated
Submitted by wendyanne41 on 12/05/2011.