Today, for the first time I am publicly facing what I have suspected for years.  We just celebrated out 9th anniversary but I feel like my heart has gone to sleep.

I am a Non-ADHD spouse.  My story is long and my need for support great.  We made a doctor's appointment a couple of years ago to talk about the possibility

of my spouse having some type of ADHD. ( I had done some research on ADHD and come to understand that perhaps I was not going crazy and the doctor

would be a good first step)   This step to go to the doctor was HUGE and I was so hopeful.  Once the doctor came in and we brought up the subject, it was simply a matter of

seconds before the doctor had brushed off our concerns and reassured my spouse that he was just being a "guy".  That was the end of it!  Now there is" doctor proof

that there is nothing wrong".  Needless to say I walked out before he could finish talking and on the verge of tears.  Since that day alot has happened.  I have given

up having long heartfelt talks that just get forgotten the next day.  I take on the majority of the house and financial responsibilities.  I set the pace for discipline

for our little boy and carry on feeling like a single woman.  I have given up being angry about it but cannot help feeling alone.  I don't know what to say when

he says "I just get the feeling you don't love me anymore".  I have decided to just live my life peacefully being me and being grateful for the fact the my husband

works really hard to care for our family "at work".  He is really great at playing and having fun.  I have learned to just listen when he talks about projects I

know he will never even start.  I know the man I love is in there somewhere but, lives in a world that I don't understand.  I try to just keep life as normal as possible but I cannot help but wonder if he will decide that he does not seem to be connected to me like we were before

we became a family and will want to walk away.  I guess, secretly in my heart, I have had to face that fear as well as the possibility that he will never want

to explore learning about ADHD.  I try to live each day one at a time being grateful for what I have and believe that miracles can happen, even if they are little

ones over time.  I am open to any tips or ideas that anyone can share to help me live more fully with what I have.