This is a saying I say all the time at work when helping people who get stuck trying to do something. I just said it again to a co-worker who had messed up a job even though they did their best. I said," you can't know what you don't know....and there are hundreds, even thousands of little tricks in your bag you only learned from experience. These are things they don't teach in any classroom. Knowing how, comes from experience. 

But doing due diligence ahead of time, preparing yourself for as many contingencies as you can, getting your ducks all lined up in a row and knowing exactly what you're going to, how your going to say it, and when is the best time to say all fall under the "how to" category. I had my all my vocabulary right on the tip of my tongue and no processing and trying to speak and do both was happening. And ....I was prepared for the worst in case that happened. 

And knowing what kind of animal you're dealing with including the "do's and don'ts" of that particular  personality, makes for the best chance of having a successful, difficult conversation... coming out not only feeling like you were heard but getting to say everything you wanted to say and no one gets angry.

That happened this morning. And everything I was concerned about was covered at the same time. ( I was kind of amazed )

And when she said, "okay, we've covered this enough"....that was my cue to stop right there.

And I have all those who've helped me here on this forum to thank. You've been my wing men and women during this entire process.

Thank you.

J