I posted this on blog maybe someone here can help too.

Hi my name is jim and i am lost my wife has ADHD so does 2 of my three kids. even though i have a ton of issues with my son this is about my wife. She tells me she is so overwhelmed and feels trapped. and that may be true in fact i believe it is. I am in the navy i am gone a lot i don't do bills because it is hard to pay on deployment and track them. and she says she doe not trust me with them anyway. i am not romantic enough and i don't meet her needs. to best explain my issue here is an email from her to me (Just how I see things from where I am and how close I am to losing my mind.  That's why I think it would be better if we just meet our own needs, and that way, no one is to blame if they don't get met.  I can get my need for touching met by getting manicures and pedicures and massages.  I can meet my need for romance with books and daydreaming and movies.  I can meet my own need to have meaningful conversations so that people will know who I am, with friends. 
If we haven't figured this out by now, I don't think I'm capable of making it happen.  We'll just do the best we can for as long as we are here.  I'm tired, and I'm at the end of my rope, and I'm tired of not being what people need, and tired of depending on other people to meet my needs.  I just want to be me.  I feel trapped by responsibilities and my to do list and I'm not having fun, anymore.  I'm worn down, and I'm tired of fighting to make things better.  So, no more will I ask you to read anything or look at anything, I'm done with that.  I just have to make it through every day that comes at me, without losing my mind) I do everything i can for her i run to the store for her whenever she needs it. i get off work i cook. i clean are room put away laundry she has me and her mom there to take care of the daily rutines at home. she takes the kids to the doctor and pays the bills on her day off. i can't figuire how someone who has a loving husband that has been there through all of her problems of depression, ADHD, and other things can be looked on as not meeting her needs. no i do not hold hands i am not big on touching. I do not buy many gifts just because. i do things for her like make heer bedroom a place to hide. And now she does not want anything to do with me i am last on her list all she does is dive into her work how do i get us back on track. i am not respected from her or feel i hold anything worth while for her. I need help some please give me an idea. Plus we have no communication at all.