Sorry, this post has been entirely rewritten. I was looking for something, but didn't find it. I'm still just as confused about events as before and there are no new insights really. Why is it so hard to accept the casualties of an ADD divorce?

Today I spoke to someone who has divorced a not diagnosed, but definitely eccentric partner of twenty years. She said it was now obvious all their choices as a couple had been based on her judgment only. With her, her partner had seemed collected and sensible. Without her, he made highly unconventional choices one after the other, seemingly unaware of risks he took, wrecking his economy fast and his relationship with their child. She didn't recognize him. She realized he wasn't who she'd thought at all.

When people split up, is that universal? You suddenly don't know your former partner, since without you they are no longer recognizable.

Who did what in this strange creature called a couple? A slow beast with two heads, none of which necessarily understood who they were attached to. Perhaps their own doings made them oversee what the other head was up to. It sure explains why I could be so surprised in the end.