I am a 37 year old married male with no children.  I was diagnosed with bipolar type II two years ago and with inattentive type ADHD four months ago.  A psychiatrist diagnosed me with the BPII, and an LPCC who specializes in diagnostic testing diagnosed the ADHD (she calls it attention superior disorder, though I am not sure what that is).  The LPCC does not believe that I have BP; my psychiatrist, after reading the LPCC’s assessment, thinks that I have both conditions; and my own individual therapist believes I have BP, but that I am in denial about its impact on me, and that, if I do have ADHD, it is not the primary cause of my symptoms but is rather due to the BP.  Finally, my wife as well as my wife’s individual therapist, who is our couples counselor as well (I need to change that situation) believes I have ADHD and not BP.
I have not even discussed the treatment part, and yet I am extremely frustrated with what I have discussed so far.  I am an analytical chemist by profession, and my job is to solve problems and collaborate with other laboratories (that use other techniques and specialties from my own) to find solutions to problems using all available data and resolving differences in findings from various techniques to reach a consensus.  The above situation is making me crazy because I just want to knock everyone’s heads together and make them read each other’s reports then spend an hour on a conference call (or in person) to discuss my case and figure out what is going on.  That is exactly how I would handle it if I were any one of these people in this situation.  It blows me away that no one would even consider any of the other assessments (except for the psychiatrist, who, to his credit, acknowledged the ADHD part of the assessment from the LPCC but disagrees with her conclusion of there being no evidence of BP) and would rather just assert their own assessment.  Problems get solved by utilizing all available information.  I could not imagine ignoring any of the available information to solve a problem (unless I can verify, i.e., not just assume invalidity because someone else did the work, that the information is invalid).
The following is my strategy for the short term (I do not know what to do in the medium to long term). 
1.) My next step is to get assessed by a clinical psychologist who is an expert in treating ADHD (and ADHD with coexisting conditions) to confirm ADHD and to see if he can find any evidence of BPII.  My psychiatrist is aware of this, and is willing to work with him as he (the psychiatrist) is an expert in bipolar disorder and knows a lot about mood stabilizers but very little about stimulants.  The psychologist cannot prescribe meds, but would normally work with a GP to prescribe whatever he sees fit.  I want to verify that he will work with my psychiatrist to select and adjust the medications.
2.) I also want to see if the psychologist can fill in the gaps in my talk therapy to deal more with the ADHD side of my problems and the practical issues that a coach would address.  I do not want to hire an ADHD coach as my insurance would not cover coaching.
3.) The psychologist also runs a monthly adult ADHD support group which I plan to attend.  I would like to find a weekly group therapy session as I like the dialogue and support with other people going through similar experiences as my own.  I have not found one specifically for ADHD yet.
4.) Continue to work with my individual therapist to deal with low self esteem, marital, negativity and depression, and difficulty connecting with other people issues.
5.) Continue weekly dialectical behavioral group therapy until I can find a weekly ADHD therapy group.  The support that I get from a group setting is really important to me.
6.) Find a couples counselor who is not associated or recommended by either my wife’s therapist (our current couple counselor) or my individual therapist.
7.) No longer allow my spouse to get involved in my therapy.  This has and still is creating difficulty for me.  It is my treatment (except for the couples counseling), and it is for me and my behavioral health providers to decide my course of treatment.
Does anyone have an opinion on any of the points above?  I would appreciate any feedback (whether or not you are qualified to give medical advice as I will assume that no one in the forum is qualified to give medical advice unless they have stated otherwise).
I will create another post section under “Need Help Getting Right Medication” to ask for advice regarding the medication maze I am currently navigating as well.
Thank you so much for any ideas that you all may have.