Relieved

I read through this forum when I was engaged (note previous tense) to a man with ADHD.  I noticed that many people posting on this forum were considering leaving their spouse.  I was considering the same.  As with most relationships, we had our adventurous moments (probably because of the ADHD) and terrible moments where angry outbursts were more hurtful than I could have ever imagined.  Letting go of a relationship soured by ADHD was the best decision that I have ever made (and will never regret).  I could relate to nearly every post on this forum.  It also provided me with foreshadowing of a marriage that I would never want to endure.  Our relationship was out of balance.  I was a "mother" to my significant other (not an equal) and rarely received the support that one should come to expect in an adult relationship.  I hoped for kindness and love.  Not kindness and love strewn with hateful words.

I asked myself one question: Would I treat someone who I love in the same way that my significant other is treating me?  Absolutely not.  

If I can provide a single person who is reading this forum with the courage to leave their relationship, then I have saved a life.  Yes, it will be painful.  Yes, it will be challenging.  Yes, it will get better.  Yes, you will finally be free. 

I am so thankful for this forum because it provided me with insight into the progression of relationships in the setting of ADHD. 

I spent over three years (and a year being engaged) to with a man who has ADHD.  Letting him go was the best decision of my life.