My ex-ADHDer and I have friends that are a couple. He is one of the husbands best friends and I am the wife's best friend. Husband and wife moved on Saturday hence, got to see the Ex.
For those of you who don't know me, I was engaged to a wonderful ADHD man who was diagnosed as a result of couple's counseling we entered. However, July of last year (6 months after diagnosis) I made the decision to leave him because I was just not able to deal with his roller coaster behaviors and he would just not commit to any sort of treatment (was only taking medicine and seeing a therapist for 1/2 hour each month to keep me "happy").
What is so interesting is that after he was diagnosed he said it was like he was a blind man who could finally see (hyper focus on the diagnosis). Six months later when our relationship ended, he stated that he thought I was just always making too big a deal about his ADHD and didn't really see what my problem was. Sigh.
On Saturday I found what I expected....his life is a serious of impulses. He states that he is really happy...and I believe him. He is not on any sort of medication or therapy but says that he has been watching what he eats and is taking his omegas. I only partially believe this but still consider it a good sign that he is at least doing something.
He life is still sheer chaos though. In the morning of the move he stated that afterward he had to meet up with his sister for a birthday party (couldn't remember whose party it was) and then after that he was going to drive to the mountains so he could snowboard the next day (planning on arriving at 10:30pm). Right away I knew this was impossible because he simply just can't manage time well enough to fit three huge events like that into one day. Sure enough I talk to my friend today (the wife) and he was at her house until 10:30pm putting together furniture with her husband.
He also revealed to me that he is still sleeping on an air mattress and has yet to get a bed. A few months after he moved out (in December ) a family member of mine passed and had bought a bed 4 months previous. I called and asked him if he wanted it for FREE and he said "no, thank you" because he had his eye on something else. It's April and he is still on the air mattress (which is supposed to be mine from the separation).
But he is happy. He still has his job (this has never really been a problem) and is enjoying his life. It's just interesting to see why I left in front of my face. I actually knew for a fact that he would be happier if we weren't together and I would be happier. And we are. It was never going to work for us but I hope one day he can find someone it does work with.
