Tonight when I got into bed with my laptop I was desperate, at my wits end, could have screamed the place down and then kept running so great is frustration and loss at where to go from here, what to do. Fortunately I put something into google and found this site. I have knowledge, have done a lot of reading and research but there is nothing quite like sharing with those that have been where you are and truly understand. I am married to a very intelligent, well educated, well meaning but highly chaotic man who is needy to the extreme, over talks, lives in his own world and misunderstands most of what I say - even basic things. I have run out of energy from explaining, pre empting,  reminding and doing damage limitation for 20 years. Our two children who are 12 and 10 are happy and well despite becoming increasingly aware of how mentally drained and frustrated I am by their father. I don't think I can keep it going for too much longer so am in the process of making a plan but in the meantime knowing that I am not alone in this helps tremendously. I look forward to reading more of your experiences and hope that I too can bring something of use to a great site.