My wife (non-adhd) and I (adhd) agreed to use verbal cues, but she feels like she uses them and I don't pick up on them. I feel like we don't really use them, even though we agreed to. So I perhaps I am too distracted when she uses verbal cues. As an example, say "you're doing the thing you do; stop doing the thing you do" is the verbal cue, she believes she says this, I don't feel like hear this and therefore don't stop. Granted I think we will try to come up with some better cues, but I'm wondering:

1. Is there something stronger than a mere verbal cue? 

2. Are there tips for getting them to work when first getting started using them?

3. Are there techniques/alternatives for when verbal cues fail to work? 

Any suggestions would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.