It can feel overwhelming to contemplate having adult ADHD.  Many adults resist getting an evaluation because they don't like the idea of being 'labeled' or they don't like the idea of taking medication.  But getting a diagnosis of ADHD is actually a good thing.  Because if you have it, the chances that you will be able to manage it very well are quite good - provided you can get the right help...and that takes a diagnosis.

So, what do you do next?  Here are some first steps for you:

1. Download my treatment e-book from the home page.  It's free and full of medically sound info and will help you understand that treatment for ADHD isn't as scary as you think.
2. If you don't officially have a diagnosis, it's time to get an evaluation. A psychiatrist or psychologist is the best person to do this evaluation.  But if you can't afford that or your insurance doesn't cover it, your primary care physician may also be able to help. If you do have a diagnosis, then you need to talk with your doctor about how to better manage your ADHD (take in some ideas from the treatment e-book, perhaps).  You will see in the treatment ebook that meds can help a lot (for most people) but aren't the only way. 
3. Read my first book, The ADHD Effect on Marriage to get an overview of some of the issues that you and your partner face.  I can't tell you how many people tell me reading this book is 'like reading a diary' or they feel as if I've been living at their house.  It's very reassuring to realize that you are not alone and that there is a REASON for all of your struggles.  If you don't like to read, there are audiobook versions available at my website and also on Audible.com
4. If you are a woman struggling with ADHD, I would suggest you consider reading a book specifically about women with ADHD - women often have different expectations placed upon them as they are often the primary care giver, and suffer particular types of shame.  Two good ones are Women with Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden (note the author on this - there are two books with the same name) and Understanding Women with ADHD by Kathleen Nadeau.
5. You and your husband may wish to consider taking my next live couples seminar - it will give you both a much clearer picture of what you can do to improve your relationship, plus you'll have access to me to ask me all of your questions. It's 8 weeks long, and given by phone, so you can participate from anywhere (I record each session, as well.)

This combination of steps will provide you the information you need to better understand the issues you face; get you started on better treatment; and provide many useful strategies for starting to turn your life around.  And, as always, feel free to contact me.