My whole relationship with my ADHD spouse can be explained with one word...tired. In fact, that is the one word he knows from me time and time again. He is going to be 35 in July, and we have been together off and on for nine years. I will be honest I have dissociative identity disorder, and the switches can be terrifying and unsettling. My own mental health is often unstable, and I feel guilty. My husband often claims he is abused, unloved, mistreated, and he doesn't deserve this to happen to him. I am not quite sure when I am abusive or if I am reacting in a way most people would respond. I come home, the apartment is a mess, he has been on the computer all day, and he can't accomplish simple task unless I write sticky notes every where. He takes zero accountability for his actions and the affect they have on others. I quit listening to him, and he says I never listen to him. Why listen, all I ever hear him say is how ungrateful he is, how his life sucks, nothing ever goes right, and continuous complaining about how bad life is. I am grateful, I have a job, internet, and a nice car. I have two beautiful girls, and I quit doing drugs to make it through life. Bonus last weekend his friend called...I like the woman. She has been nothing but friendly to me through out our whole marriage. They have been friends long before my husband and I have met. The problem is my husband has been in love with her long before we met and ever since. She is divorcing her husband, and all of sudden my husband is willing to move to another state. He was skeptical about going when I told him he would have to go by himself for a time being, but now he just jumped on that band wagon. He has been very cold to me all week, so I have given him his space for the most part. Maybe she can do a better job because I know I suck at it. I like her, so I haven't been feeling jealous. I feel tired...tired of not being good enough, tired of being the monster in his life, tired of being an unattractive, ugly, clumsy, drooling oaf, yes I am tired. All I can think is if she can do a better job with him, why be jealous, maybe she will be all the things I can't be. Hell, I shake her hand if she can do it with a smile on her face with all the grace and beauty my husband believes she has. It would be nice not to have to be annoying all the time, and come home to house I am welcomed at. I don't know maybe I am really that horrible, or maybe like so many of my comrades on here, I am at the end of my rope...tired.