I am so very sorry and I can completely relate. I wish i had good advice. i looked for support groups. When I found none, I have tried going to a counselor the past year to help me deal with it too. We come up with work arounds and some work but the stress and the lash outs , never stop. It is a matter of how I react. I am so tired of having to figure out how to react or not react to someone out of control, the lash outs never end and i am just trying to find ways to keep the peace. Each weekend it is something new and he continues to blame me. It is me not his ADD and I have lost all hope that he will ever see it and realize this rocky of a ride , is not normal, necessary , or healthy. I am exhausted , I am the sole financial provider now and in charge of the finances so that “stress’ of waiting on the next ball to drop , has been eliminated. Sad though. With it comes resentment and shock that I am married to someone that does not have enough responsibility to work consistently, pay bills, provide for his wife and kids consistently ever, and be an equal partner in real life and finances. I have been with mine for 18 years and we have two sons and that is what has kept me in it and trying to fight. I have begged him to get better medicated, exercise etc, all the recommendations , but nothing is consistent except the inconsistencies. He will never see it. That is where I am now. He will never see it nor change. He is the classic victim. He is always getting attacked, Poor him. He can do no right….endless victim…......   Each weekend it is something new and he continues to blame me. I supposed somehow in his mind, I am to also blame for his piles of debt and unpaid bills to creditors, the fact that he almost made us lose the house, but for my income, now I pay for all, the fact he lost health insurance for me and my young two boys b/c of another “miscommunication” really he said it was the health ins. providers fault , and he has been “looking for work” for past three years and JUST got a job out of the home….etcWeekends and time together should be fun not full of battles and stress and waiting to get yelled at, then react to it, and then be told, when i react to him instead of stuff my hurt feelings, it is me , and he is getting attacked. The manipulation and skewed perspective is shocking still to me. Sorry Long vent. I am just feeling done, past done with the “disease ” I want off the roller coaster. We still have some good times, but the other times never stop. My life is the best it has ever been in all other aspects which make it even more depressing when I have to be around him on the weekends and I get sucked in such a depressing world, filled with needless fights and anger and then 5 m in later he is fine pretending nothing happened while I am left feeling miserable and wondering how long I can stay on the ride.