The reality of a mind that can't function normally means mental illness....It always has, and probably always will...The reason I got into this marriage, is the same reason I"ve had so much mental suffering in this marriage....Ignorance concerning mental illness, (add) and the refusal (for years) to realize it's going to play a role in my marriage relationship...A role that hinders or stops most every aspect of normal husband and wife interaction....I"ve lived it going on 13 years, and I've read the stories from many of you....It's always the same....The scale, mild to severe (1-10) can be different for everyone, the effects can vary, but, it's the same debilitating mental disease...

People with mental illness (adhd, bi-poplar, personality disorder, etc) can be easily offended and can retreat to denial very easily....Why? Because they aren't given any recognition as having a handicap for one. (School, Jobs, Most Spouses) They are expected to perform at the same levels as everyone else....And, maybe more prevalent is their desire to be viewed as normal, not recognize it in themselves (behaviors), and their strong desire to not have anyone else recognize it in them....So many spend their lives behind the mask of " I'm fine, when they know (and the spouse know's) they are broken...We as human's all have our places of brokenness....To be broken (viewable or not) doesn't mean you aren't lovable, and aren't capable of returning love...But it does mean the reality of the presence of it's existence should be owned and understood, before you jump into a marriage relationship where responsible work has to happen by both parties....From my experience, most add minds think they are completely able to tackle life...And that is true for the most part, many are highly intelligent, and gifted individuals. When they are dealing with themselves, friends, co-workers, they can be very likable, and very capable....When they are single, their intimate settings are their own, it doesn't require, work, organization, attention, memory, focus.....Marriage and parenthood do.... 

This isn't putting everyone in the pot of denial, but, as many of you spouses know, the numbers who refuse to accept it, talk about it, and own it openly, are few....

c