ADHD & Marriage News - October 14, 2020
Quote of the Week
“Positive emotions are a life raft in a sea of uncertainty and heartache. And accessing moments of good can not only help us, it can help those we care for and interact with throughout the day.”
-Lidia Zylowska, author of The Mindfulness Prescription for ADHD
Positive Emotions
Even if you are struggling, there are many positive emotions that you can access to help you get through the harder moments. Here are just a few that I’ve seen recently in couples I’m working with. They often focus around appreciating what you already have, or creating new things that you can appreciate:
- Evaluation of, and appreciation for, improvements that have come with the start of ADHD medication
- An early ‘Thanksgiving’ done in September for a family that couldn’t be together in November due to COVID. They created a completely new ‘holiday’ focused on being together and having fun to celebrate life.
- Riding a bike and appreciating fall colors (okay, that’s us!)
- A couple who spent their anniversary reminiscing about the positive ways they connected when they were younger and saying thank you. They held hands while doing this
- A couple who takes 5-10 minutes every night to complete the sentence “What you need to know most about me today is…” and shares something personal. The other person listens, perhaps questions, and says thank you
- A couple who does yoga together to slow down and connect a bit at something fun
- A couple who has started taking walks around their property to talk. The non-ADHD partner (who is the more conversationally dominate of the two) doesn’t speak for the first 5 minutes to allow her partner more time to share himself with her. They both enjoy this change.
These moments of good have all been intentionally created by these couples for the purpose of creating positive emotions and connection between them. What positive moments might you create, either for yourself or your relationship?
Join me at The 32nd Annual International Conference on ADHD, November 5-7, 2020 - It is virtual this year with plenty of opportunity to ask questions of the speakers.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.
Resources
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships.
Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.
How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.
Question? Contact Melissa.
© 2020 Melissa Orlov