I give a lot of thought to what affection is all about, and about how to help people learn to thrive.  This lyric really caught my attention.  Because it speaks to both our universal need for affection, as well as our need to have the space to be ourselves.

Both of these can be a challenge to locate in a struggling relationship, particularly one that feels chaotic.  Because a more organized or anxious partner’s approach to taming chaos may be to wrap their arms around the mess and work to organize it…or, if you will, hold the person creating the chaos down.  This doesn’t work in a healthy relationship.

On the other side of the story – some with ADHD interpret the need for freedom (‘not being held down’) as equivalent to doing whatever they wish to.  This ‘let me be me’ approach doesn’t recognize the commitment they made to partner with their spouse in the burdens of daily life.

There is a middle ground.  One in which ADHD partners step up to create the support structures needed to be reliable AND share their generosity and affection so the other partner feels loved.  And in which non-ADHD partners are selective about where to hold the line, thus creating space for the natural ‘pinging about’ that comes with ADHD (pinging is not a technical term…just descriptive!)

No mistaking it, this is a hard balance to create.  It takes patience and perseverance to find what works for both of you.  But it can be done.

Where might you let go or step up to create a more balanced relationship?

Needing help with balance? REGISTRATION is OPEN for my premier live seminar:  ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Starting February 13, 2024.

SEMINARS, GROUPS:

ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Is your relationship in trouble? My premier, highly acclaimed 9-session zoom seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. Registration is open for seminar starting February 13, 2024. The next LIVE seminar will start in Fall 2024. (There will be NO spring seminar in 2024.) 

Non ADHD Partner Support Group (full) and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group (full)- Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

New: ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group - an integrated team of experts dedicated to supporting the needs of couples and adults impacted by ADHD.  

FREE RESOURCES:

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD; 

Downloadable chapters of my books;

A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;

A large number of blog posts on various topics;

Referrals

Social Media: - follow us for tips and resources

ADULT ADHD CAN HAVE A HUGE IMPACT ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! 

Question? Contact Melissa.