My husband called at 5 pm yesterday that he was just leaving the office. With the highway traffic, I figured he should be home by 7 pm. He did not return my calls or texting ever since and it is already noon next day. I have no clue what he is doing. Last week, he did not come home till 3 am. He said he had a tough day at work, and got so overwhelmed when he called home and listened to my frustrated voice about his late return while the youngest son screaming near the phone. (We have 3 sons. Age 8, 6, 2).
He has been on emotional roller coaster recently. I lost my job in Nov due to offshore outsourcing and doing full time contract work from home without sitter or any help. He is feeling more financial responsibility with his unstable small business. He was on meds but I don't even know if he is taking regularly as he does not want to talk about it.
Is it common for ADHD husband to take off impulsively to seek solitude and quiet away from his wife and kids?
It isn't 'normal' behavior
Submitted by SherriW13 on
It isn't 'normal' behavior and should not be acceptable behavior of a married man. I won't say anything more...I've been there, done that...and won't go into the gorey details. You deserve to know where he is and what he is doing...
I agree...
Submitted by Portsmouth on
Thanks for getting back. I was desperate for advice. I told him last time how much I worry and asked if it was his way of torturing me. He should be well aware of what he is doing to me.
re: Didn't come home
Submitted by Topaz on
Totally unacceptable. I see red flags all over this. Even if it were "solitude and quiet", out of sheer politeness and respect he should tell you where he is. If you allow him to do this it will only get worse.
Sadly, I did deal with this
Submitted by Portsmouth on
Sadly, I did deal with this in the past. It's been 20 hours and no call. At this point, I am thinking he is on drug and off to somewhere. I always dealt with this alone but just like this my first time blogging, I called my mother in law for the first time who raised 3 sons with ADD. He will hate it when he finds out I told his mother but I did not want to take it alone any more. If he does not want to come home or even call, I have no way of supporting him. Kids are getting older and wiser. I cannot keep lying that he had car problem and could not get back home.
I think it is wise that you
Submitted by snapdragon on
I think it is wise that you are reaching out for support. Abuse breeds in the dark. Whatever the reason for his behavior, I think you owe it to yourself to decide what you can and can't tolerate, and then set your boundaries. I know I would be worried sick. My ex husband used to do this, but was usually out studying or something... just didn't bother to tell me. When my marriage ended, I dated an ADDer, and just ended that relationship. It's hard when we get used to this sort of treatment, as we think it's normal, or that we should forgive it. There is always good to offset the bad, but when the bad is abusive or very hurtful, I do think we need to address it. I just think there is a basic level of respect that all human beings deserve and should have. I hope you take care of yourself today and know you are not alone.