My husband and I have been together 5 years.  He was diagnosed with ADD at 15.  He was on Concerta for a time and said that the doctor adjusted the dosage a couple times, my husband admits that the medication "helped a little" but chronic insomnia led my husband to just stop taking the medication.  His family lived in Singapore at the time.  His father is Asian Indian and his mother is Ukrainian, so their views of medication, therapy and medical practices are different than Americans.  They never got him therapy or anything else.  Just medication and when my husband stopped, they didn't push him to try another medication or anything.  He is 23 now.

We've managed to do ok, even though I knew something was off when things changed at about a year into our relationship, not great but ok, up until a little over a year ago and it just seemed his symptoms intensified.  Just a couple days ago, he surprised me by giving me an article on ADD & marriage.  Up until then, he had not even mentioned his ADD as being a part of his life now.  We had discussed him having some sort of issue, since our little boy, who is 3, has been diagnosed with a low level form of Autism.  This prompted me to do some research on Adult ADD and led me to this site.  We have since had a couple short conversations about how he is now sure that his ADD is what is causing so many issues.  He tentatively agreed to read a book or two but is really balking at going to see a doctor because of his experience as a teen.  We have fallen into the classic parent/child way of doing things.  Which is made even harder by the fact that I am older than him.  We WANT our relationship to work.   

I love him a great deal and I know he loves me.  We are committed to making out relationship work.  I'm encouraged that he is willing to read a book but I know deep down he probably won't finish it.  I also know that medication and therapy are part of him really feeling better.  Not just in our relationship but about himself!  He tells me all the time he hates that he can't concentrate, can't remember things and that I am unhappy.

I guess I'm asking from those of you who are here and have been through similar situations...where do we go from here?  Do I just have him read the book or two he's agreed to and then broach the subject of a doctor again?  I'm already trying to change my own behaviors of nagging, pushing and controlling but I know we both need to work on this for us to get better.

Thanks in advance for any comments you have.

J.