Hello, just wondered if anyone here could help me please?  I'm currently in the process of becoming fully self employed.  I have dyspraxia and probable adhd although it's yet to be confirmed,  in this country it can take over a year to get a diagnosis.  I want my boyfriend to fully understand the extent of my difficulties but it would take for him to live with me to fully understand their impact.

We want to move in together one day but I'll only ever let it get to that point if I can earn an adequate income as a massage therapist or find some other way of making ends meet.  Dyspraxia affects motor coordination and sequencing of physical actions.  I added the link because many people with adhd have dyspraxia and don't realise it.  Most people with dyspraxia have the symptoms of inattentive type adhd although some are hyperactive too.  In a survey, about 39% of people with dyspraxia have full or part-time work so it can be done.  Personally, I've lasted a day in many jobs including shop work, cleaning and data entry because I learn practical skills very slowly and make a lot of mistakes.  People with dyspraxia have to do everything at an extremely slow pace so that we can process our thoughts and control our bodies.  I've tried admin, sales, call centre work, being a care assistant in an elderly people's home and working in an adventure playgound.  I had some moderate success working with children but it didn't last.  For instance, I had difficulty lifting children and became concerned for their safety.  I don't leave jobs, they're either temporary jobs that end or I'm asked to leave. 

I've never been able to drive (not so important in London, many people here don't have a car).  I use all the pedestrian crossings to get over the road and only cross when the lights have changed.  The challenge for me is judging speed, distance and direction.  It's safer to use public transport which thank goodness, is good here. 

I want to earn a living for my boyfriend's sake so that both of us can contribute to a life together.   I want him to have someone he can depend upon and for us both to be safe and secure.  Am I being realistic?  I want to stay with him but have given myself an ultimatum.  In April we will have been together for six months but if I haven't bucked my ideas up and become fully employed and earning I'll have to let him be free so that he can live a happy life and find someone who can give him a future.   I must find the strength to do this.  How can I bring myself to let go of him?  He knows about my condition in theory but seems to have become committed to me very quickly.  I want to give him what he needs, otherwise he deserves better.