Today I was feeling very sad,sad, that I miss him so much, and wished that we was not controlled by what I call the "next him"but as I write this forum, I know that I have made the right decision and refused his invitation by him"TODAY".I texted him, and in my text to him I wrote and expressed my love to him so strongly,and also went on to tell him that if we don't go to a doctor together to seek treatment from the "next him" then I would not be able to go home by him,because after I thought about it all week, and all day, every minute of every second, I came up with the same conclusion,he needs to see a doctor or start taking meds or else we would go back to the same old nonsense again and again ,and that is torture for not only me but him! he needs to save himself from him,and me from the ADHD effect of it, and I don't want to be spinning top in mud and end up back writing forums on how" he treated me today "or how" he cursed me last night",I just want to be free from all of that.I really miss the" him" I love and the" him" I so run from right now is separating me from the" him" I want to be with.