The need to express my feelings & actions have  now become quite clear,
I feel like I'm behind the wheel of a car that just will not steer,
My mind runs like a motor that refuses to stop or to slow down, 
My foot remains on the pedal that is pushed closely to the ground,
Not sure why I cannot control all of these traits that seem to drive you mad,
I continue to try to compensate for all of the instances I've made you sad,
Placing the blame on you all of the time has never been my intention,
My ADHD leaves me feeling like a child who needs after-school detention,
My temper tantrums, forgetfulness, and thoughtlessness to name a few,
Probably leave you feeling like  you have bitten off more than you can chew,
Continually I refuse to own these actions that are part of my existence,
Then comes the reminder that I cannot finish any task without proper assistance,
My mind fragments & twists your words into particles inside my head,
Your meaning becomes lost in translation as I hear what you have NOT said,
My hyperactivity keeps me awake at night with thousands of thoughts rushing thru my head,
I admit that I fail to consider your feelings of neglect as you lay alone within our bed,
I'm disheartened & ashamed of the way I continue to make you feel like crap,
I hate starting arguments over trivial issues & going from 0-to bitchy in a snap,
I want nothing more than to right my wrongs and to take away your pain,
To look you in the eyes & swear my outbursts will not happen again,
If only I could remember the simple things that you ask of me to do,
Instead I become defensive because I know what you say of me is true,
After all the truth has been what I have been trying so hard to hide,
Otherwise I feel like a basket case with whom I cannot abide,
From this day forth my goal is to remind you exactly why we wed,
To also try to make more sense of the constant confusion in my head,
I know that everyday will be a test that I will have to endure,
To begin to focus more clearly on the things I tend to ignore,
I don't expect an overnight change & I know it will take some work,
To get a grip- find some inner peace- to stop going berserk,
I apologize for all of the times that I have made you feel uneasy,
Frankly, the thought of losing you makes me feel extremely queasy,
Thank you for supporting me throughout it all & for your amazing adaptability,
For going with the "flow" while dealing with my unpredictability,
I feel lucky each day that you remain an integral part of my life,
For loving me despite all of my faults & flaws ---Love, Your ADHD Wife