I think this might help both the ADDers and everyone who now and then feel overwhelmed or just lazy. I will try this out today. I can only imagine that, when given the choice of standing in a spot and doing NOTHING for a set period of time (no eating, distraction, games, tv, etc.) or doing a specific task, that I would choose to do a specific task. This would be a discipline/habit/tool that would help anyone who feels unmotivated. DH has ALL these pointless distractions that fill his day, puzzles, smoking, needless putzing, reading all kinds of papers, that he has given himself the habit to feel he MUST do that the things he really MUST do don't get done....like planning for the future or making a living wage or having a relationship with his family. If he is overwhelmed, then standing in one spot doing NOTHING other than one specific task would give him clear direction, right? The only thing is that he is not motivated to even use any tools to make himself better. Rather he has learned to accomadate his ADD by attacking any mention or discussion of his lack. The other tool he uses to make himself feel good is selective memory, erasing memory, and thinking he did things that I did, not giving me any appreciation for my support....because he thinks he did it. He seems to have no guilt or shame because he is able to manipulate his own versions of what is going on in his head. He has no compulsion to grow or be a good person but spends his energy and his thoughts on things like Family Guy, American Dad and Homer Simpson ....things that make his lack seem like normalcy. EVERY discussion with me or anyone else becomes a rant about politics...another diversion. This is crazy-making and the realization of it for me is heart crushing. I don't even think he sees me as a person. He has filled his life with pointless distractions to "get by" and that is all he can/is willing to do.
Check out this site for anyone who would like to try this method to concentrate and get something done that you don't feel like doing.
Cure for laziness
Submitted by lynnie70 on
This is great! I've experienced something like this before, but never seen it actually described. I know if I am really tired (or depressed or stressed or whatever), I turn on the the TV or computer and I just turn to mush. But I have noticed that if I just turn on the radio, which requires no attention really, pretty soon I will be looking for something to do. And if I decide in my mind to do just one tiny portion of something that needs to be done, with no mental fore-planning of doing the whole large job, I usually get involved in the entire chore without trying. Of course, I allow myself to quit whenever I get anxious about continuing.
But I can really see how when I just stand there and clear my mind without any expectations, I usually continue one more step. In fact, paying bills yesterday: when I started feeling overwhelmed a little with the paperwork, I turned to another part of the job (straightening out the office supplies and putting them away), and easily returned to the paperwork by setting just one piece of it on the table at a time to deal with. The table was clean, and there was just this one bill to pay, out in plain sight. It "called" to me!
Thanks. I wonder how it would work for ADHDers (I am not).