I'm starting to suspect, although I could be entirely wrong here, that my partner might have Oppositional Defiant Disorder issues to the extreme.  I always assumed that the reason he always seemed to behave the opposite of how I needed him to was because we were just a bad fit and that his ADHD caused him to be very self-focused so my needs were ignored.  I even mentioned in one post how it seemed that our basic needs always seemed to be in direct conflict so that one of us (actually just me every time) would have to jeopardize something intrinsically important to them to allow the other to have what was intrinsically important to them.  The strange thing is that I've gone through some personal changes as of late that have very much changed what my needs are...and wouldn't you know it, his needs suddenly changed too...and again to those seemingly directly in conflict with mine.  Something seems fishy here.  For instance, we never were able to spend much time together before.  He was always out with friends, working on a hobby at his workshop, etc.  I felt it was important for us to spend positive quality time together because of the issues we were having in our relationship.  The more I expressed the desire to spend more time together, the more he would go out and the later he would stay.  Recently, I've given up on fixing the relationship and have desired to spend my time alone working on my own hobbies.  Well now that I want him to go out and do all the things he was doing previously, he suddenly doesn't want to do those things anymore.  Now he hardly goes out anywhere and when he does he comes back after just an hour or two. 

Another good example of this is that I used to be really lax about cleaning the house and made it clear to him that we didn't need to put too much effort into keeping it clean.  I called it "bohemian chic" lol.  Well he was practically OCD about cleaning the house and would freak out about everything in regards to keeping it clean.  Recently I've gotten more picky about the house being clean and now he doesn't do ANYTHING to help keep it clean.  The same guy who was practically OCD now prepares food on a cutting board that hasn't been washed for days and has old dried food stuck on it.  It's hard not to notice a correlation between the changes I've experienced in myself and the "changes" he's now also undergone.   It's really very unsettling....