Hi, I am married to an ADD husband for half a year, but we've been together for longer, about 2 years. I love him very much and I know that he loves me. But like everybody knows just love is not enough for a happy marriage. He told me that he had ADD right after we met - but the thing is that I didn't know much about it at all and I didn't pay enough attention to the fact that he has it - I just thought that it's just hard for him to concentrate sometimes, I had no idea what ADD truly was and how to deal with it. And to tell you the truth I still don't know how to deal with it properly - most of the time I get angry and frustrated, especially it was an issue in the beginning of our relationship. After we moved in together he lost his focus on me and I thought that he stopped loving me - back than I didn't know that ADDers tend to lose their focus on the partner after the courtship phase - so that was really hard for me to deal with. I really thought that he didn't love me anymore! We almost broke up during that time. After a while I realized that A LOT of his actions are caused by ADD - and I try not to react the way I did before. But I feel like I'm in a constant struggle with trying not to get angry, frustrated or hurt. And that makes things even worse. I am the kind of person who says what she thinks and shares all her feelings - and it's hard for me to just keep my mouth shut. My husband doesn't like talking about our problems and gets easily irritated when I start talking about my hurt feelings - and actually accuses me of making things worse between us by trying to talk about it! So, it's like a closed circle. For some reason he doesn't see that initially his behaviour causes me to act offended and says that my actions cause his behavior. I'm so confused!!!! I need help.
I need some words of encouragment (Sorry, long post)
Submitted by Beauty23 on 05/18/2009.