Hi I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months he has ADHD and ive never been happier ive read all the stories how people talk about hyperfocusing in ADHD and realized my partner did and still does sweep me off my feet but with us it works two ways as I no i do the same for him. Upon reading about hyperfocusing i mentioned it to my partner he had no idea about this and was devastated in tears. He keeps saying that his not going to change towards our relationship etc the question i had is if made aware of this at an early stage does that mean he wont change? Or is it something that will happen reguardless? I hope i can get some help im very confused I love him with all my heart I want to spend my life with the him i have now not someone who may become a total stranger.... Please help
Hyperfocus
Submitted by Kylee on 07/01/2013.
Kylee, nobody can really tell
Submitted by sunlight on
Kylee, nobody can really tell you whether what you are experiencing now is hyperfocus nor how long it might last. If he is aware that it might happen that won't necessarily make him aware of when it happens - you might notice that he acts differently but he might not see it. As time goes by your relationship will inevitably change as you get more and more used to each other - that's the difficulty. Disentangling the end of hyperfocus from the normal 'honeymoon phase is over' and from normal rough patches probably won't be easy, it never is even without ADHD in the mix. But on the positive side, he is now aware that hyperfocus might be in the picture so the best thing you can do is to encourage him to be open with you as time goes by, and to keep the communications about ADHD channel open. But don't overfocus and worry every minute about it - being overanxious in your interactions might provoke the very thing you are afraid of. Learning more about ADHD will be a good thing but remember to enjoy yourself too and to take things a day at a time, we never know what life will throw at us.