hi i am new to this website and it is such a great website and very helpful!!
I have been dating my boyfriend (with ADHD) for 2 years and he is definitely the most caring, lovely, sweet and adorable person i have ever met in my life. He has worked (before we even met) on his ADHD and has a great job, succeeded or striving to achieve many of his life goals, historically gotten disproportionately angry but not often since i have been with him. Most people who are close to me and him get the relationship 100% (not that they neccessarily need to). As i have been researching ADHD i have learnt people with ADHD do communicate differently and see the world differently which can be a positive and a negative thing which makes great sense to me... just like there are positives and negatives with many other facets of other people as well. Communication and perceiving the world differently is not a massive issue for that as we always talk if there is confusion, or if one of us doesnt understand what the other is trying to say. I am not saying there has been no hard times but we talk a lot and I love him and accept him as he does to me to. The one thing that makes me sad sometimes is that some people (few but still some) in my life doesnt fully understand him... they think he is lovely but i feel they do not fully grasp him as a person.. maybe they dont understand ADHD i am not sure. So they perceive him as possibly distant or detached and have told me to make the right decisions for myself, taking into account they are not in my relationship that they dont really know the correct thing. I am totally happy, we as a team research ADHD if we feel its a barrier in our relationship and have made steps to make sure it doesnt become a parent-child dynamic (as we have observed that could really easily happen)... i was just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience where others can percieve your relationship as possibly 'odd' or dont fully grasp your relationship and if this is normal
Relationship and 'normal
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
I think it's really hard to look at someone else's relationship and really understand it from the outside...there is so much you don't see about what we have in our hearts. You also can't typically see how couples communicate in private - which is key to how strong your relationship is. My husband and I communicate much more intensely and directly in private than in public - and i think we must seem quite different to those who only see the "outside" us.
Bravo to you for your care at thinking about ADHD and how it impacts you...and to your partner for his attention to managing his ADHD. The two of you will face speed bumps in the future, as all couples do (regardless of whether ADHD is a factor) but it sounds as if you are well prepared to do well together.
I am also new here...
Submitted by Heather1026 on
I am an ADD'r and also new to this site. From what I am reading on this website is that you should not date my kind of peeps. I guess we will ruin you normal people??? Listen, you like him, great!! I have been happily married to my husband for 13 years. I might have some quirks, but ADD is NOT uncommon. My husband and I are a normal couple. Am I going to ever color coordinate my closet? Nope. Will I ever make spreadsheets with my kids chores? Nope. I probably will never have a desk job. But I am an awesome fine dining manager. I probably wouldn't hand over your credit card to your boyfriend. I know my limits. I only use cash.... I go to my shrink every month. We are tweaking my meds a bit. One of the side effects is lack of appetite and I lost too much weight on my last med... Take what some of these comments on this website with a grain of salt. We are not all like that. Seriously. Some of these things I am reading are insane.