Submitted by Dipity on 08/12/2014.
Hello - Just a quick bit of advice really. Hubby and I are looking for a verbal or non verbal clue for when he is talking too loudly - which he does when is is really animated. He never notices when he is doing it and misses usual cues like people stepping away from him etc. Me saying "I'm just here" isn't working out well for either of us as you can imagine and we were wondering if any of you had this issue and or any ideas about a cue we could use? We have thought about maybe a wink (however I look like I'm having a stroke when I try and wink!!!) touching my mouth (but then what if I just touch my mouth lol) rubbing my ear (what if it's just itchy!?!?!)
Any help or advice appreciated!
loudness
Submitted by dedelight4 on
Wow, your husband talks too loud also. My ADHD husband talks so loud, our 4 year old granddaughter covers her ears and says, "Papa, you SO LOUD"....to that he laughs and thinks it's hilarious. But, it can get embarrassing out in public when he's talking full voice in a room where you need to be whispering. (especially church) His full voice is "my shouting". And when he YELLS.....OMG....you can hear it a mile away. He also has the television up SO LOUD, that it's deafening. He is a musician, and from being in front of marching bands and concert bands all his life, he's lost most of his "high end" hearing and some of his other ranges as well.
In our bedroom, I will have the television volume at about 8 or 9, but if he's watching it, it's up between 50 and 90. It's so LOUD, the vibration makes the room shake. But, then at night, he won't let me have ANY volume. it has to be so soft, I can hear maybe 1 out of 20 words or so. But, then he puts his ear buds in and listens to his tablet at a loud volume. I don't get what that's about, but it seems weird to me.
Anyway, in answer to your question. I don't have any signals or answers for this, because when I've tried to tell my husband about this, he just laughs it off. He doesn't think it's important. But, I TOO, would love to hear anyone else's strategies for dealing with this. I'm sure someone has come up with some inventive ideas.
try humor?
Submitted by Smokey on
Hi Dipity,
What about humor? Couples often share inside jokes, and they refer to these jokes even when they're in the company of others, usually a reference to a movie or a joke they both like. This may take some research, but perhaps find something funny that you both love that in some way reminds him of the volume of his voice.
Other than that....try physical touch? Maybe a pat on the back or holding hands, something like that.
Good luck!
I just cover the ear he's
Submitted by copingSAH on
I just cover the ear he's talking into to. I have repeatedly told him, "I'm standing right next to you, you don't need to shout."
Now if we're in the yard and he's talking loudly, I chirp just as loudly : "Are you talking to me, or do you just want to make sure the neighbors hear you?!" The neighbors must laugh over this one.
It does make him lower his voice but he definitely suffers from modulation problems... it starts all over again when he wants to share something the next time. It's just a lot louder outside or in the car (on the road). He used to explain it away by saying it was chronic sinuses... but he doesn't have any sinus problems when he's not talking...
I once teased him by asking him to talk louder... "Can you speak up?" I think he was already max-ed out volume-wise LOL