Greetings everyone. I am writing today as a cry for help. I have reads  few of the posts and I feel quite inspired. My story is long but, I will try to make it as short as possible. Please excuse me if I babble also. Right now my emotions are all over the place.

I have reconnected with my first real love after about 28 years. We had remained friends and often talked about getting back together. When the opportunity presented itself we did. I have always loved him but we were young. I still love him and I want to help but he is resistant.

Shortly after moving in together I began to realize things about him that I did not before.  He displays feelings of negativity, self-doubt, pity, fear, confusion, insecurity, anger, and a total lack of trust.

For example: in most cases couple will recap arguments and try communicating each side. For me if and when I attempt no matter how gentle or mild he automatically takes this as an attack and begins to rant about other things like working hard and bending over backward to make me happy.

He often feels that everyone in his small town is out to get him and even occasionally accuses me too.

He is constantly saying that people are stopping him from being successful. It is never his fault.                

He takes things so hard. Just last night I mentioned to him that he should get some rest for hard work in the morning. I made a joke and said, start counting your sheep. So he became offended and said you count your sheep.  So I said joking ok, you count your sheep and ill count mine. He replied so, now we are separate. So I gently pulled up on line and had to explain counting sheep.

Secondly, if something happens or something breaks, instead of it being just an occurrence it is someone who is against him or wanting to hurt him. Example: The upholstery of counsel in the truck was coming apart he insists that one of the guys working with him that he gave a ride home took it apart.

I have tried to express talking to his doctor. He refuses. I try to make examples of thing to help support what I’m trying to say. 10n out of 12 it’s a bust. I’m most cases to him, level headed people making proper since are difficult and difficult people make since.

Sometimes I can’t use the phone; he is peeking over my back accusing me of talking to another man or just talking about him.

One day he to me to a bar and when he left to go to the rest room someone he knew made a pass at me so, I told home. Ever since then we can no longer go there and there’s been accusations that I’m secretly involved with this person. I have tried to explain over again that this man as well as most of them in this little town is not my type. He is stuck on what he believes. He also thinks that if we move away it will go away. i don't think so. that's another attempt to run.'

Sometimes he will call me and automatically asked me where I am or who is over

He takes everything very hard and literal even simple things.

He has even gone as far as accusing me of speaking in foreign voices

I am always having to reassure him that I love him and there no one else.

One day I was dropping him off at work and the phone rang. It was the guy working with him. I answered the call thinking he needed help.  He instantly got angry and said now the guys will think he is stupid because I answered the phone. Also he says now the guy has heard my voice and may be interested in me.  I explained that I was only trying to help. I knew they were going to a job and I thought the guy needed some directions. My apology was not good enough. He said we needed to separate. He said that was very serious and he’s still harping on it. It’s been 6-months.

My family is convinced that I will become mentally ill if I keep taking this on but I love him and I want to help him. I can’t diagnose his condition but from conversations an evidence I have been able to ascertain that when people cant deal with this the up and run that’s why starting over always seems to be the best solution for him and when he does it always ends up the same way. I remember him sharing with me how he was engaged 3 times and each time it got closer to the wedding the girl would change the dates further out.

Sometimes he expresses how afraid he is of losing me. He says that the men in his town are famous for homwrecking and he does not want any of them to take me from him. I can’t stress enough that they can’t take me if I am not interested. He does not it get.

I am on a constant on a thinking binge to determine what exactly it is that he suffering with.

I feel he’s defiantly needs to be medicated

I feel he’s is defiantly insecure

I need help with the medical part. I even believe that it is multiple medical conditions.

I feel like leaving so that he can pick up with someone else and the cycle can continue and he may then realize that he is the problem.

I love him and I want to stay with him. He is not physically abusive infect other than the mental he is a fairytale man in a woman’s dream. He opens doors, takes me out, always checks to see if I need anything, pumps gas, cooks, helps with chores, family oriented, etc.……

One day I built up the guts to ask his mom about it she has confessed that she knows he does this.

However they are small minded people to some extent and I have to be careful of what I say and ask. They are all quite defensive.

So I’m quite alone in my permute to get help. I’m lost and don’t know how or where to begin.

It is common for this to be ignored. In his family his oldest sister is mentally retarded. One of his other brothers has some mental issues and when he told me about it I said to myself and you escaped. Lol

Sometimes I’m afraid. I don’t know what’s coming next.

Any help. Please!