Well, I cant beleive i am actuall contributing to these forums, finally the day came(yesterday) that my partner (who I diagnosed with adhd) and i went to the psychaiartrist and after an hour and a half of conversations with him, he said...."now ADHD is very very hard to diagnose, but i must say...in this situation, you are the exception to the rule".....
The releif that i felt was overwhelming and today we start a new day, as medication was given at the end of our session. I am looking forward to the change in my partner not only for me, but also for him, going 28years without diagnosis has created alot of problems as i am sure most of you can relate to. He is doing his 2nd last year of Mechanical Engineering at University and has been struggling to no end, with that comes anger, frustration and a heavy pot addiction and I have been bearing the brunt of it.
Fingers crossed for our road to normality/a new beginning (whatever that is??)
Partner diagnosed
Submitted by Elaine on
Vanessa,
I'm glad you feel a sense of relief and especially hope for the future with your partner. I wish you all the best for the changes that will hopefully be taking place for both of you as you work through this. Good luck and keep us posted!
I remember being there as 5
Submitted by holding on on
I remember being there as 5 years ago I sat in that office with my husband and recieved the same news. He was wanting a divorce without really being able to give me a reason...and so I asked for us to go see someone to be sure it wasn't undiagnosed ADD that was creeping in. He was clearly diagnosed. He did start medication which did show some improvement right away. Now, 5 years later with 3 kids I find myself in the same spot...we are separated now. My question for others out there is what type of follow up their spouses have recieved once on medication? My husband in on the generic of rtialin, goes in for blood work once and year, and just calls his family medicine doctor to refill the prescription. He never has seen or talked to anyone in those five years about how he is doing. I see signs of his ADD affecting him again just in everyday life as well as this marriage crisis we are in but he refuses to see it. His life has become so much more stressful and demanding recently that I am nearly positive he needs to have meds adjusted as well as actually do counseling for ADD which he has never done. I write hoping you do not make the same mistake I did...thinking all was well once we got the diagnosis. Stay active in his care if you can..and hang in there. All the best.
ADHD men
Submitted by Dan on
Hello Venessa... I read your post. I'm a ADHD man, undiagnosed for 42 years, my ADHD marriage story is here: http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/find-volunteer-slapper-your-husband-and-reason
Your partner is likely much like me, ADHDer's are very alike, I even had to chuckle when I read your comment he's studying Mechanical Engineering..... since I'm a Civil Engineer. I finished my Bachelors degree but didn't finish my Masters... by just 3 credits! Yep, I didn't finishing writing my theses, just lost interest at the time. (this was of course 15 years ago, before I knew I had ADHD). Fortunate at least for your partner, you both know he has ADHD. That's a big help if he chooses to work hard at staying on track. If he truly is a good man, he'll stop hurting you and himself. He just needs a good slap upside the head (virtually speaking of course). No pain, no gain... perhaps give him some pain (called tough love) by leaving him for a while. That is what my wife is doing to me, she filed for separation/divorce, it's real... she's just done at this time in our lives! That was a huge slap wakeup call! Plan to leave if he doesn't improve soon enough for you, if he's a good man and if he loves you, he'll work.... no he'll RUN to change and address his ADHD for the better and you'll be lovingly married to him for 50 years.... if he doesn't change... you both learned something valuable and you are still young and fortunately no kids. Don't wait to try and learn this when you have kids...that changes everything completely. I hope you two the best. He didn't choose to have ADHD, he doesn't deserve this, he's likely a very lovable guy (as most ADHD'ers initially are). But ADHD is so clouding of a man's mind, the only true test of a man is how he reacts to a good virtual slap.