I have been engaged to my amazing partner for 2 years now and he has always been honest about the anger that comes with his ADHD and I have tried to increase my knowledge by reading these forums and any information i can find regarding untreated ADHD in adults. finding this site has been a godsend because i was recently thinking i should leave him because i felt neglected, unloved and more often then not a parent to him.
However, i know he gets angry because of the ADHD but it seems like he is always angry, like every breath i take near his area at home will send him off the deep end. Please someone tell me this gets better, i really need to know that with time a patience he can get a handle on his anger and stop making me feel like i am walking on egg shells.
Any Advice Please...
It does not get better....
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
It gets worse.....much, much, much worse.
Anger? No thanks.
Submitted by ChrisChris on
I can also attest that the anger will GET WORSE. If you're walking on eggshells now, imagine the next ten years of your life. Does it really make a difference that he has been upfront about his ADHD and anger issues? Disclosure doesn't absolve him of responsibility for unacceptable behavior. My advice is - if he isn't able to work on his ADHD to where he can achieve 6 months of acceptable human behavior - run. Run and don't look back.
I completely agree
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
Completely agree with ChrisChris
Ohh...
Submitted by Wife To Be on
I do see what your saying but the weird thing is we have been together or close to 5 years and we have only just started to have these major issues... i even thought that maybe he was trying to get me to leave him. I know it sounds like an excuse but when its good its AMAZING and I honestly feel like I must have died and gone to heaven to have someone so great. He is currently not being treated for ADHD and I do believe that I sometimes cause the initial problem. I have spent my entire adult life with this man and I have to believe that if I really love him I will hold on to the good and work through the bad and maybe we can work... right?
Probably....NOT.
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
<<<
but it seems like he is always angry, like every breath i take near his area at home will send him off the deep end.
>>>
And that is why.
When I first met my H's parents, I sensed that something wasn't right, but I didn't yet know what. I couldn't understand why they didn't seem to "act like a family" in the functional ways that I saw my very large extended family function.
Now I painfully know why.
The energy that H's anger saps out of me is immeasurable. The TIME that I have to spend dealing with his anger wastes the time that I could be more productive dealing with other household or child issues.
The dark cloud that lingers over the household affects everything. I can't even list all of the negative ramifications.
Why is he not being treated?
Submitted by doublej on
The anger might get better if he gets treatment/medication. Otherwise, assume that anger will always be a part of him.
He isn't currently being treated
Submitted by Wife To Be on
Yes
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
Yes, I do think that those who are mentally-unhealthy and who are often immature as well, "use" their situation to get their own way, to excuse bad behaviors, and to make people feel sorry for them.