Submitted by tiddletaddle on 01/26/2008.
Hi all,
I shared this with another partner of an ADD person and she suggested I shared it here. It's about the ADDer not actually connecting with you when you think they are, and the confusion this can bring.
My partner is undiagnosed ADD but neither of us realised this until a few months into the relationship. In the early days I thought my darling hyperfocussing man was with me all the way - but soon things became a little strange and it became obvious to me that he just wasn't always there with me when I thought he was!
So we talked about it and because he wants this relationship to work as much as I do we together decided on a strategy, which I have applied a few times, and here it is;
When he is disconnected from me in a close situation I look him in the eyes, put my hand over his heart, and say to him 'I am touching your heart'. He then puts his hand on my heart and looks at me too. It gives him a physical and emotional jolt and brings him into the present moment.... for a moment at least :-)
Do you have some strategies that you have tried? Care to share?
Good making your acquaintance :-)
Tids
Great Idea
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
You have a great idea for what I think of as a "positive refocus" and it works in part because your partner agrees with it.
I have a different one with my husband - if he seems to be getting off on a tangent and losing me and everyone else in the room, I have a signal I give him. Now that he knows that I'm just cuing him, he thinks this is okay. Back when he thought I was trying to harass him or cut in on him, it didn't work so well!
Melissa Orlov
Thats interesting Melissa,
Submitted by tiddletaddle on