This is the first time i have ever written into a forum. at this point i am willing to try ANYTHING! My wife has recently been diagnosed with add. Her child was diagnosed years ago with it.
We are recently married & the birth of a child was also even more recent. My problems are ..She drives me crazy! she has just been put on meds for her add ..but up until this point & now i am Questioned at every turn? when putting something together ...do you need that tool ....it says you need that to put it together??? why are you doing this...you never metioned anything to me? you need to do it this way!...you should have said this! I consistantly feel monitered? i consistantly feel like i can not do it right...or the way she wants it
A little while back there was "an incident" while i was out ....to tell you the backstory my wife constatly thinks i am up to something, or cheating, or somebodys trying to get with me.....which i have profusly told her i want nobody else & it takes two to tango...i have from day 1 told her & still believe to this day there is no point in cheating on someone...if your gonna cheat just leave ..thats my follisfy....anyway after coming home one night ...one of the guys i work with (was working at a bar) was messing around & planted a kiss on me...(no mind you i am A GUY ...& SO is THE BARTENDER WHO DID IT) ...i was shocked & went to tell him other than my father he was the only guy that ever "kissed" me before ..so joking around after that ..he said aww i love you maaaan while laughing gave me a hug & Wham latched on to my neck!!!..of which i pushed him off...too his & my surprise....as he was pointing & was like..awwwwww....there was can you guess a mark on my neck...a HICKI........now mind you this bartender is not gay ...he is just one crazy guy.....he is known for his antics & ridicoulsly stupid behavior,,,,,but guess what i was accussed of when the mark was noticed by my wife.....thats right cheating...another woman....no mind you the story may be shady to some.....but if you know the bartender its totattaly believable....now calls from people confirming the story means nothing ...my wife doesnt believe me for one second...& i dont think she ever will...BUT HONESTLY IS IS THE GODS HONEST TRUTH....how do i make her believe what is the truth?...how do i get her to stop treating me like an invalid???...Please help
if you read it please leave a
Submitted by pharmacare on
if you read it please leave a comment
I believe it, would YOU believe it?
Submitted by startee on
I am new to this site and I have ADD and my husband has ADHD (I know they are suppose to be the same ADHD but I personally feel they should be differentiated). I must admit I question him the same way and he says "I don't believe him or trust him and treats him like a kid" too. So my response to him and now to you is that in order to CHANGE that you have to convince the other person otherwise. Why? It is usually a matter of will history repeat itself...again. I think I question because I hate when I have to feel like "I told you so" when something goes wrong. Like the putting things together without the right tools. When I don't question I get a bookshelf upside down because he didn't read directions. OR it comes out ok like my daughters's curtain rod. He didn't use the screws that came with it so I have pretty white rod with gaudy black screws sticking out. Think I'm just being "picky" well I would agree if it were not for the fact that I have a million of things done like that or done half way or not done at all. Now as for your situation the distrust and treated like a kid part comes into play when such a outlandish situation IS true. The question becomes why are you even in a situation like that? Why are you not aware of the fact that someone is putting a hicky on you? It is not a matter of what happened it is a matter of WHY did this happen. That is what most of us with ADD including myself skip over because we are usually in perpetual motion or spacing out and we do not see the patterns and we do not see the signs of a situation that could possibly be avoided altogether because we are so in the moment and/or having so much fun and/or just curious as to how something will play out so we let a situation get hay-wire and then wow...I can't believe something as crazy as this has happened to me" is a common response from ADDers. Now this is more for my husband who is the hyper type. He just will later feel like hey if you crack a few eggs it happened but I gotta keep moving. As for me the inattentive,as perhaps maybe your wife is, we have the double edge sword knowing we are impulsive and we are mentally moving so we are constantly counting and recounting our eggs..at least I do because I live in fear of the same or some simple yet now LARGE mistake happening because even though we take a different approach something... and we don't know what but something usually or might happen..again
unfortunately the ADDman I
Submitted by Clarity on
unfortunately the ADDman I have to deal with speaks to me that way as well. I thought it was because he needs to put me down so he can feel better about himself, or it was his way of proving his superiority. Whatever the reason, I try to do things when he's not around or I just have to yell at him and tell him to shut up and walk away so that I could complete what I was doing correctly anyway. Even though he's wrong, it still affects my self esteem and I find myself second guessing everything that I do. It's insane that I can be so competent but feel so harassed by his behavior. He takes his medication but won't go to counsel (he says it's just talk) so I haven't found a better way to deal with it. Now, I mostly avoid him and neglect things that I would like to take care of but don't think its worth all the trouble.