Guys, I need a pep talk.  My unmedicated ADHD husband was fired from his third job in 6 years on December 29.  We have yet to receive any unemployment despite the state saying it's coming and receiving many letters to that affect.  To his credit he has taken many side jobs and we are not in too bad a shape financially, but we will be if the unemployment does not come through.  He has had two interviews with a good company and it sounds like they may make an offer early next week.  The problem is I don't want to get my hopes up because I only hear his side of the story and we all know how unreliable an ADHD narrative can be.  We also have to move out of our apartment because it sold and the new owners are not renewing leases.  We have until September, so no great rush, but I love our place-we have been here 8 years and there would be no reason to move if not for the sale.  DH found a house for rent in our budget.  3 car garage, full basement with a workshop.  He wants to go look at it.  I do not want a house.  At all.  Our kids are 16 and 18 and they have never lived in a house.  If we were going that route, we should have done it when they were little and could play in a back yard.  Little late now with the older one going to college in the fall.  All I can see is the garage and the basement filled with his crap.  As it is I pay $180 a month for a storage locker that I know is packed with his stuff.  But this way I don't have to look at it.  The space around our two cars in our garage in the building is also loaded with his crap, which is embarrassing.  When we move that will not happen again.  If he gets this new job, it includes travel, which he has done before, but in an apartment.  I don't want to be alone in a house.  We have always lived in busy urban-ish areas with lots to walk to.  I can easily come home from work on a Friday and not drive again until Monday to go back to work.  I love that.  This house isn't by anything walkable.  Also, he and the 16 year old are going to Peru for 10 days in March.  This trip was paid for with his bonus way last year, so the money part is not an issue.  What is an issue is I specifically wanted him to schedule it over the child's spring break so he wouldn't miss school.  He's not the greatest student, he needs to be in school.  But no, DH has him missing four days of school.  Who do you think is going to make sure his teachers know and he gets his missed work done?  That would be me.  The oldest child is 18, graduated last year, is taking a gap year.  He is supposed to be working full time.  So far that has not happened.  His friends are talking about taking a 10 day road trip.  Rather than DH telling him flat out no, he tells him-get more details, we'll discuss it.  How about NO.  This child owes me $300 for car insurance.  He has no business taking a 10 day road trip anywhere with anyone.  All of these things are on my mind.  I feel like I am the only sane person in my house.  Nobody thinks clearly.  Both DH and the oldest son (also ADHD) think they are all cute and quirky.  Example: I am missing two bowls from our daily dishware.  They were in the 18 year old's car.  He was running late (big shock) and took bowls of cereal in the car with him.  WHO DOES THIS?  You don't take glass bowls in the car.  He does this with coffee mugs too despite the fact that we have like 10 travel mugs in the house.  And he laughs and thinks is funny.  Being scattered and disorganized and having weird behaviors is not cute.  It's exhausting to live with, exhausting to try to put some order or structure in place.  I am in a crummy place right now.  I can usually keep myself mentally separate and pretty steady, but lately all of this chaos and uncertainty are getting to me.  I am overeating at night like crazy and waking up feeling like crap.  I had a major back surgery in December and have 15 pounds to lose now that I can move pain free.  I should be walking and swimming but have no motivation at all.  

I know all of you know how I feel.  I do not think my stuff is any worse than anyone else's.  I am just venting and whining.  The mood will pass, I know.  Sometimes it all seems like SO. MUCH. EFFORT.  just to keep things moving even the least bit smoothly, you know?  Like I am paddling furiously and just barely keeping my head above water.

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