I am interested in hearing from everyone. What are your "funniest" or most amusing moments in your ADHD marriage? Someone on this forum described an incident in which her husband got sidetracked grilling corn in his old clothes at their son's wedding and I laughed until I cried. It felt SO GOOD to read this because it is the story of my life in a nutshell and so ridiculous that it is difficult to even comprehend. But, it happens, and we cope and eventually it becomes more funny than mortifying. So, here goes with mine: it isn't funny like "ha, ha, ha" but funny because it is just so typical of my ADHD life as we try to blend into our suburban neighborhood and not reveal ourselves to be the lunatics we are. Not successfully, as evidenced by the day my neighbor, a very nice husband and stepfather, knocked on my door and asked me if he I wanted him to mow my yard. My DH is not really into lawn care (I am actually convinced he does not even really "see" the lawn when he goes in and out of the house. Is is just there--like electricity or the wind). Anyway, it had gotten a little wild, but God knows it has been worse at other places we have lived, so I was STARTING to fret about it, but my " wife radar" was nowhere near "FREAKING OUT--MOW THE DAMN LAWN NOW!!!" mode. Apparently, I have lived in this chaos too long, because my "starting to fret" was already bad enough that my neighbor was disturbed enough to offer to mow my lawn for free!!! OMG! I thought I would die on the spot trying to be nice and thankful and apologetic and maintain my dignity and composure at the same time. How on earth do you explain why your spouse just does not mow the lawn in a neighborhood that prides itself on curb appeal? I wonder what he would have thought if I would have told the truth, which is "My husband doesn't even really see the lawn. He hasn't noticed yet that it is bad, and I haven't started yelling at him about it yet, so we are still in the early stages leading up to the lawn actually being mowed. Please feel free to enjoy the view until the nagging/yelling begins and he takes care of the yard, which might be awhile". And if anyone here wonders why I didn't just mow it myself--it is a pushmower and we live on a hill. I tried when we first moved in and am physically incapable of pushing it uphill. He also thinks its fine and won't spring for a riding mower--LOL. Guess who hired a lawn service right after that conversation--YOU BET I DID. Best $160 I ever spent. The lawn has looked great for five years running now.
Looking for Humor
Submitted by phatmama on 04/02/2018.
Humor
Submitted by Hopeful Heart on
my husband as adhd and really has a hard time ordering fast food for the family. When he places an order, it comes out as a mixed up, jumbled mess. The person on the other end of the intercom always gets confused and our order usually ends up being wrong. Recently we were going to order pizza for carry out. My teenage son saw an opportunity to show my husband how confusing his fast food orders can be. He pretended to be talking on the phone and placing an order for pizza. It went like this....
”I’d like to order four pizzas. One large. Two mediums. One small. One pizza should have pepperoni. Two should have sausage and one with Canadian bacon. Two pizzas with jalapeños. Mushrooms on three of them and olives on one. Thick crust and thin crust.”
We all got a good laugh out of it, even my husband. And now he understands a little better about ordering fast food in a non-confusing way.
Humor, Response
Submitted by phatmama on
I'm dying. Priceless! Thank you for sharing. :)
Humor, ADHD (phobia) the great bug race
Submitted by dedelight4 on
This humorous incident was more about one of the many fears/phobias my ADHD hubby has, but it was funny.
Our family was taking an early evening walk in our development, which was circular in shape and totaled a little over a mile in distance. Our white German shepherd was with us, and we were enjoying the lovely weather and leisurely stroll. Suddenly, a noisy large bug decided to join us and zeroed in on my husband, buzzing around his head. Since H was TERRIFIED of bugs, he let's out a scream and waves his arms shooing the bug away.
Thirty seconds later, the bug comes back, buzzes H again, to which he screams, waves his arms again, and the bug disappears....again. THIRD time...bug comes back, buzzes H around his head, and H can't take it any longer. H screams, waves his arms and starts running down the road as FAST as he could go. The dog sees this, and thinks "Yea, we're running", and takes off after my husband. The BUG then starts after the two of them in third place.
So, there we were left, watching H running and screaming down the road, the dog in second place running trying to catch H, with the BUG in 3rd place bringing up the rear. All three of them went down the road until we couldn't see them any longer.
Of course, at this point, the rest of us were laughing hysterically, rolling on the neighbors lawn. After composing ourselves and starting to walk the rest of the way home, a car pulls up. It was my husband, with the dog in the back seat. He cracks the window open about half an inch, and calls out....." IS IT GONE YET?". At that point we couldn't take it any more, and the laughter broke out all over again. We eventually made it home, but to this day STILL laugh hysterically about the Great BUG race.
Humor, Response II
Submitted by phatmama on
Oh, my gosh! That childlike attribute of being totally in the moment, totally oblivious to how the behavior appears to others, the intense and dramatic response to "normal" stimuli--check, check, check. Never a dull moment with an ADD'er, right? Thank you for sharing. I am glad your family can laugh together about this even long after it happened. :)
Funny as in ridiculous
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Funny as in ridiculous episodes from life with my now ex-husband:
1) He LOVES driving and claims to be very skilled but he was fired (justifiably) from his job as a mail carrier because he left his postal truck in the wrong gear while delivering a package to someone's door and the truck rolled backwards and hit a tree.
2) One time after he drove his non-air-conditioned personal vehicle home from his parents' house (150 miles away), he sat out in the car in the driveway for awhile. I was motioning him to come inside (I can't remember why), and when he finally came inside, he told me that he had been slow coming in because he had to put his pants on. He had taken them off while driving because he was so hot.
Humor, backwards chain saw
Submitted by dedelight4 on
H honestly believes he is a carpenter, electrician, painter, plumber, ie. Jack of all trades, and can do them well. When he's had no experience in any of these areas, and usually messes up whatever he tries to fix or do. This is the main reason our house looks so bad now, because he won't hire professionals and insists on doing things himself. So, many things are broken, torn up, half done, stained, and disgusting. Anyway,........
We had a severe storm and a large pine tree fell in our back yard. H buys a new chain saw to cut the tree up. (Never done this)
I hear the chain saw running for about 40 minutes and go outside to see how everything is going. The tree doesn't have a single cut in it, but H is drenched in sweat trying to make the chain saw work. I take a look at the chain saw and couldn't believe what I was looking at. New chain saws come with the sharp teethed blade OFF, and you have to put it together to use it.
Somehow, (And I don't know HOW) H had put the saw blade on the saw, with the teeth on the INSIDE, and there was nothing on the outside to cut the tree with. But, he was working hard trying to get this to work, saying, "I think this saw is broken".
I had to work hard to not laugh, but I told him to take the blade off and turn it around, so the teeth could actually CUT the tree. Of course he never read the instructions......never does. After 40 mins, he had worn a little groove in the bark, but that's it. So, after turning the blade around, the saw actually CUT the tree, much to his amazement.
There are hundreds of stories like this, where he does things backwards, upside down, inside out, and often just plain wrong. And again, its usually been" someone else's fault". Amazing.
WOW....
Submitted by c ur self on
I've worked w/ many people over my 61 years....I've worked w/ and around many smart, capable even artistic adults....Who when it comes to common sense...That will just leave you w/ your mouth standing wide open....
I have no idea how he got that chain to even run inside out....
C, I have no idea
Submitted by dedelight4 on
C, I have NO clue how he even got the thing to work with the teeth inside like that, but it WAS running. I was amazed. I was even MORE amazed that he didn't SEE that the teeth weren't cutting the tree. I mean, wasn't it just OBVIOUS? you know? Even a hand saw has teeth that saw the wood, and you can SEE that this is just "how it works". Nope, it was backwards( inside out). I was astounded. Common sense? He doesn't have much, and so many things like this happen ALL the time.Its exhausting.
Dede....
Submitted by c ur self on
Our Love isn't based on common sense though....We just have to smile about it all...Glad he didn't get hurt....
C
Chain Saw
Submitted by phatmama on
No words. Dear Lord. I have always said that having ADHD is being sentenced to a life of working twice as hard with half the tools to accomplish half as much as "neurotypicals". This story is truly the classic example. This is cringe-worthy and funny/not funny, as so much of ADHD life is. Just trying so darn hard.........for nothing. If you couldn't laugh, you would probably lose your mind.
Parenting
Submitted by bowlofpetunias on
"Having two kids is easier then having one! They keep each other entertained!" (Reality: "Why are they always fighting? Why can't I get them to stop fighting?")
"Having siblings makes them learn to share. An only child grows up to be selfish." (Realtiy: Constant fights over refusing to share and invading eachother's spaces.)
"Ask your mother."
Submitted by bowlofpetunias on
If my kids wanted to know the meaning on non sequitur, I would tell them to ask their mother--about anything, really.