Submitted by Libby on 06/05/2018.
I woke up this morning feeing so deeply lonely in my marriage. One of the purposes of marriage is to have a companion through lifes ups and downs. Someone to share experiences with. I would so love to go on a vacation this summer. I have the choice of going alone or taking my DH along. Either option is sad and lonely.
oh honey...I wish I could hug
Submitted by dvance on
oh honey...I wish I could hug you. I know the exact feeling. Six years ago my DH left us for 6 months ( another long story--look up my other posts ) and it has never been the same since. lonely is not a strong enough word. I am only 48 and something inside of me has just died, shut down, gone into hiding, I don't know how to explain it, but I know how you feel. there's just no way to connect on a deep level with an ADHD person-I just don't think it's possible. I have had a rough year at work-yesterday I came home in tears, and said nothing to DH. He has no idea anything even went on because typically when I say anything less than positive about my work he suggests I look for a new job. Not terribly helpful in the moment. But I digress. Did you and you DH ever have hobbies or things you shared? experiences in common? we used to but they faded away or changed. the things my DH likes to do don't interest me and vice versa. I don't know how to share in him sitting in his chair with headphones on scrolling through you tube videos. I know what you mean about sharing in a vacation. Is there a friend you could go with? Could you join a tour group from a museum or book club so you weren't alone? a retreat? a yoga thing? a biking thing? just to have company. I realize none of those things are the same as a true life companion, but it may help a little bit.
sending hugs and understanding.
dv
Me too, Libby and dvance
Submitted by jennalemone on
I have been having that early morning feeling of lonely dread this year quite a bit. Yet, when I think..Who? What? Where? ..would I LIKE to be? I can't think of any good options for me to feel connected these days.... More and more I feel alone... More and more I AM alone. I understand this is a sign of our times. People are alone and lonely more than ever. But I do grieve that my spouse is someone who I feel isolated from/rejected from rather than a team I am on. I feel more and more that " Somethin' inside has died, and I can't hide and I just can't fake it."
Vacations....
Submitted by c ur self on
I've went alone on a few vacations over the past 3 or 4 years.... I ride a road bike and love to spend time on the beach....But its just like you said...It's lonely...There is a hole there for a married man or women because we know if we had a spouse who loved and cared about us, we wouldn't be alone....(When you have a spouse who will agree to go about anywhere, and do about anything, w/ her side of the family..But always has an excuse for why what you like, or want to do, just want work for her...That tells a fellow all he needs to know about his wife's heart...Nothing else needs said... It started when we tried to plan our honey moon destination and has never changed....It's just not worth it...)
My two daughters and their husbands and our three grandchildren (ages 10, 6 and 2.5) have made condo reservations in July in Panama City Beach Florida....I made a reservation in a one bed room for 5 of those 7 nights...Even though I will probably be alone (w/o a spouse) I will have my family to eat out with, and my grandchildren to play at the beach with....So it will be great! ...Lord wiling....
c
I just want to say that you
Submitted by cmo22 (not verified) on
I just want to say that you are not alone, but I get it. I recently told my husband that most of my sadness comes from the fact that he is supposed to be "my person," but that right now I have no one and it hurts. He is never there when I need him the most and I'm too embarrassed to talk to my friends and family about what goes on between us for fear that they will hate him. So I have no one. We aren't having sex right now and without sex he is incapable of showing any kind of physical affection. So not only do I share space with a man who isn't there for me emotionally, now I get to live without physical touch. No one should have to live this way. I hope so much for all the spouses on here to find love and happiness and not spend decades without knowing they are worthy. I'm so sorry you are going through this too. You deserve better.