All of this in the past week-none of these things are mind blowing, just holy wow--makes me wonder. So earlier in the week we ordered out for Thai food from a place we order from all the time--I know what we all order and I have an account with Grub Hub-credit card saved, address info saved, everything. DH did the ordering. He could not figure out Grub Hub and when he finally did, two of the four orders were completely wrong, like he had to call and have the restaurant come back with the correct food. What is so hard?? Last week he had his review at his job, the 4th job in 9 years, he's been there since March. He texted me afterwards that they gave him a raise (small, but YAY), so his paychecks would go up. Well, when his next paycheck posted, there was BOTH a bonus AND his paycheck was larger. Now while I am thrilled to have the extra money, he clearly did not understand the conversation. How do you misunderstand so thoroughly and completely? A few weeks ago he took the sliding doors off the shower stall to give the stall and doors a good cleaning-again YAY but when he put the door back on, he didn't put them on correctly and the little clippy things at the bottom that keep the doors in the track snapped off so the shower doors on the shower three of us use twice a day are in the track on the top and literally swinging free at the bottom. I have asked multiple times when he plans to fix them-get the clips and he said he asked our maintenance guy for them and he hadn't given them to DH yet. I saw the maintenance guy tonight when I got home from work and asked him about them and the maintenance guy literally had me stand there while he want and got them from the workshop in our building. Last thing--tomorrow our youngest son (age 17) works from 9am-7pm. He is a token taker at the boat launch beach by our apartment and all the college guards and beach employees have gone back to college-he doesn't got back to high school until Monday so they are short handed and he will make overtime money. Any way--last night the son and DH were sitting on the couch watching whatever and I made them pause the show and talk about tomorrow. I said that I would bring the child lunch and a cold drink in the middle of his shift--it's supposed to be 89 degrees here and that is a long day. DH was sitting right next to the child and participated in this conversation-like-"oh that will be a nice treat" type of thing. Tonight DH says that he is going to pack the child a lunch since he has such a long day tomorrow. What the actual F***??? I know our ADHD people don't listen worth jack but come on-how does this man function in the real world?? None of those things are difficult and he couldn't do any of them.
how does he keep a job??
Submitted by dvance on 08/24/2018.
It gets worse with age...
Submitted by c ur self on
A raise is common for many business's when you get your six month eval (performance review).....But a bonus is nice!...Did you ever think that he might not have wanted to offer up the bonus info. to you? :)...LOL....Adhd people work much harder than most w/ focus, so when they relax (down time), they actually turn themselves off to a degree, (awareness, focus, the work of recall and memory).....
Some times we have to just be thankful for the effort, instead of focusing on the results...Or it's crazy making...I hope you have a wonderful weekend....(Stress Free)...I know your Son will, making money, and getting feed very well;)
c
The performance eval was at
Submitted by dvance on
The performance eval was at his 4 month mark, which seemed like an odd time for a review, but what do I know. I know he gets reimbursed for his mileage and I never see that money. He also does side jobs and keeps that money. He has 4 credit cards with thousands of dollars on them from I don't know what so I imagine that is what he uses to pay those down but I really don't know. I did not point out any of the things I listed or make a big deal about them it's just kind of mind blowing. Today was another one--he went to Target while I went to church and I asked him to pick up a set of sheets for one of our sons (we just upgraded him to a queen size bed and only had one set of sheets for him). I said please get all cotton and not those stretchy t-shirt material ones that stretch out so much over time. I even said that the first ones I bought were something like $34.99 so that is kinda the price range. Guess what he came home with?? 100% polyester stretchy sheets. For $19.99. The exact two specifications I said NOT to get. Again-HUH???
With DH it is abundantly clear to me and has been for many years now that he uses every ounce of concentration, attention, focus-whatever you want to call it-at his job and there is nothing left when he gets home. How I am supposed to have a satisfying marriage with a person who is tapped out from their job 5 out of 5 days is a mystery I have not solved. He spends virtually every waking moment on Saturdays and Sundays parked on the couch either playing video games on his iPad or watching you tube videos on his laptop. With headphones in. Again-if that is what he needs to do to recharge, so be it, but we cannot have a marriage like that. If I need to ask him something I have to stand in front of him and wave my arms like I am landing a plane and then I get a big huffing puffing eye rolling pulling out of the headphones and pausing whatever he is watching to listen to me. So nice to be married to someone who considers you a big bother, isn't it???
My weekend was actually quite nice despite those things! I went downtown (Chicago) for dinner with a good friend on Saturday after sleeping in until 11am. Sunday I went to 9am mass and then gave a workshop at Holy Name Cathedral (another good friend of mine is the Director of Faith Formation there) and then took myself out to lunch and read a magazine while I ate. I got home about 3pm. Now I am going to prep my clothes for the week of teaching, get some food ready (I make overnight oats for my breakfast), return those blasted sheets (the Target is a block from our apartment), read my book, look over my lesson plans for tomorrow, all good! One child is working all day--double shift at the beach since half the guards went back to college. The older child is doing homework-he started community college this past week and his girlfriend left for out of state college this morning, so he is a little sad.
Thanks for the reply~hoping for a smooth second week of school...
I'm with you.....
Submitted by c ur self on
I know of which you speak;)....The huffing and frowning when we get thrown our way, when we interrupt their focus on what ever they are locked into, is quiet disheartening ...Like u say, it's difficult (pretty much impossible) to have any type normal marital relationship without kind interaction....
I personally do not believe a person who lives that way know's what love is...They may know what cohabitation is, they may know what body swapping is....But love is much more!...If I truly love you, I will care about you, I will be open and approachable with you, and to you...I will cherish you, I will take time to pet you, to look deep into your eye's, into your heart, and soul...To reaffirm my love, when you hurt, I hurt...You are part of me, and I will love you like I love myself...When God joins two people together as one, it is suppose to be the most blessed gift we can experience this side of Paradise! (Being w/ Jesus)....I hope I never allow her life style to blind me, to the beauty of what it is suppose to be....
I know that's why you get frustrated, me to....But their isn't anything I can do about it.....So I'm learning to accept it....As bad as I hate it...I'm not cut out for this type marriage...I'm a very hands on type spouse....It's been super hard to accept the loneliness I feel.....I to went to church today, (sermon was on spiritual gifts) it always cheer's my heart to experience times of worship and praise...Understanding who is producing my life!....And what my purpose is.....I shouldn't allow my situation to get to me so...But the constant reality of it, does wear on me, i must admit...
I'm so glad you got out w/ friends today, and enjoyed yourself....(I've only been to Michigan Ave. once, it was so much fun) I'm trying to finish up the house painting...I took about 4 or 5 weeks off (it's been so hot and humid here, Oppressive! lol..) after i finished the house and shops....So I started back Friday and Saturday on the windows...My shirt was staying so soaked w/ sweat that I painted w/ out one Saturday for a while, and got my back a little sun burned...(not to bad, I'm already tan, but enough I felt it when I would roled onto my back in bed)...So I cut off one of the fingers on our Aloe Vera plant and got D to put the juice on it...It's helped....I've got a few more days this week and hopefully I will be done....
I hope you have wonderful week;)
c