Submitted by hope spd on 02/14/2008.
The love of my life, my husband, was just diagnosed with adhd a couple of months ago. After researching the subject of adult adhd, I now see how all of the things that seem to have been bringing him down and holding him back lately are in some way attributed to his adhd. He is a loving and educated man with a true gentle heart who does not know the impact this has on my heart. I think he grew up with a lot of shame and pain due to his adhd and the lack of communication in his childhood. He doesn't have his parents to turn to, only me. I am a strong woman and lately my husband has been suffering from depression and lack of interest in our life due to his adhd and now I feel lost. We own our own home and live like a lot of young couples and are trying to move up in the world, start family someday and so on. He will be into all of that talk one day and the next day seem annoyed when I bring up the future or his possible success in life.
Lately he seems to get bored easily and does not see the joy and beauty in our everyday 'routine' lives the way that I see it. His job is a burden, I talk too much about his feelings, he wants to drink and he is constantly looking for a change...buying new things and that is all worring me. He often says that he can't believe that he has to work everyday and that he wants to be free of the burdens of the everyday. I think he has had adhd since his boyhood and right now he is coping with the depression that can come from dealing with the responsibilites of marriage and all that adult stuff. He wants to change and he has taken a couple of weeks off of work under a doctor's care and upped his lexapro, stopped drinking for 2 weeks (he drank once in that time) and started taking adderoll today. I am so hopeful for our future but so scared that his lack of interest, anxiety, low-self esteem and easy boredem which are all adhd traits are going to be hard for him to let go of. Today is his first day on the low dose of adderoll and I am so hopeful that his doctor's care and my love will shed some light. I want to know if anyone can relate and give some advice.
I can relate
Submitted by cecilia4567 on
Keep Loving Him
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
The best support you can give him is to love him for who he is, and to recognize that some of his traits - like restlessness, are probably easier for you to adapt to than for him to change. If he needs variety in his life, perhaps there are ways that you can keep your lives together varied enough to be interesting (don't assume that getting married means you have to settle down right away and get boring!)
Don't push to have kids until you have had lots of time to work out how to communicate about all of this easily and he and you both feel comfortable that things are under control....kids tie you down a lot and tend to push adults apart rather than bring them closer has been my experience.
And, yes, you will likely be experimenting with meds for a while...
Melissa Orlov
thanks
Submitted by hope spd on
thanks so much.
Submitted by hope spd on
I relate too your husbands
Submitted by combogal (not verified) on