Submitted by Mr Vera on 11/01/2019.
Hello everyone I'm Ron
My Wife Danielle and I We have recently come aware of what ADHD in a marriage has effected us... This is our ground zero... for years we have suffered unknowing the real reason... now we both hurt tired and lost... what can anyone recommend to help us start in this journey ... we got the adhd and marriage book and audible and is like our story was being told... scary ... haven't gotten through it all yet... and I'm looking for more and all way we can make this marriage work for us... I love my wife... and want our marriage to have the fighting chance I'm hoping to find in the community that got to manage it .. can someone anyone give us advice how and what steps
thank you
for what its worth
Submitted by mike1112014 on
The biggest struggle in my marriage has not been finding solutions, but sticking to them. Its easy enough to see how these issues effect you and your spouse and easy as well to make plans, but sticking to them, through that attention deficit and executive dysfunction is hard. I'd suggest finding a way to stay engaged with the topic of ADHD. the book is a good starting point, but what happens once you've read it? that's when the real test starts. I don't have a solid answer, but I have recently joined these forums and started interacting here because I believe it will help me keep my own issues present in my mind, but in a healthier way than to just obsess about them by myself. Keeping some non-judgmental time and energy engaged in the topic will hopefully keep these issues and their impact on my spouse present for me without the self-blame and shame that comes along with trying to go it alone. Regular therapy visits and meditation also helped, but like everything fell by the wayside over time. I'd suggest both of those too, but in my case, they fell off because they were solitary, I am involving myself in this community and involving my wife in how I cope and reflect, hoping to get some accountability without negative judgment.
I Agree after the book is
Submitted by Mr Vera on
I Agree after the book is done what then this process seems to have to have a life term commitment and that's why Im here to get connected and educated and support doing it alone we are doomed Ive made appointment to therapy and its a struggle cause I know no one in my life now aside from you would ever know the struggle by experience. Im a over thinker and i tend to become super determined I have so many mixed emotions and no one to reflect it ... I feel the wrong thing it'll only become worse... I hope to have more incite with you and others... thank you for reaching out ... can I ask in your experience for a therapist... how do I know is the right one? I have to get this right or to the best of my ability I don't just have my wife with ADHD I have two younger ones that are as well... coping alone is rough...
As for the therapist, it's a
Submitted by mike1112014 on
As for the therapist, it's a feel. I was lucky enough to be matched with an Family and couples specialist who also worked with ADHD. After a lifetime of not going, at least for me, there was no right or wrong for a therapist, just starting to talk about it was big progress. If you're 100% honest in those sessions and you come upon a need this therapist can't serve, I'd ask if they have colleagues with a different specialization that suits your need.