Physically challenged vs mentally challenged
I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between a physical challenge or impairment and a mental challenge or impairment. I think a lot of us nons keep holding onto hope because we are told that ADHD is possibly the most manageable brain disorder or mental challenge whatever you want to call it. I think that is the thing that keeps us in such denial that our spouses will get the help they need because we know they can, we know it works, we know it would help. Does that mean we expect them to be 100% functional like a person who does not have an ADHD brain? No I don’t believe that. I believe that us nons are willing to walk this road as though we were walking with a blind person and we are they’re seeing eye dog or cane. They are taking the steps to get from point A to point B and we’re just coming along side to HELP not actually carry them.
So I was thinking about a person who loses a leg for example they have a choice that only they can make and that choice is to sit in a chair the rest of their life and not try to function even at an 80% capacity or they have a choice to seek medical professionals who can make them a prosthetic leg. They will have to do the hard work of learning how to use it, they will have to do the hard work of the pain that’s involved. The bruising the blistering the soreness the aggravation but they can push through that to the other side. The person with ADHD has many tools, there’s medications there’s cognitive behavioral therapy there’s mindfulness training there’s reminders and sticky notes and lists and deadlines and clocks and timers there’s ADHD life coaches and psychiatrists and counselors BUT only they can choose to go through the painful parts to push through to become a person who can function in this world with Minimal chaos and the only way for them to stop pulling everybody else down into their chaos with them is to either take the steps or lose those closest to them. That is literally THEIR choice and not one of us can make that choice for them. We cannot carry them.
I’m reminded of a story in the Bible when Jesus was telling his disciples to go into all the cities and preach the good news and he told them if you go into a city and you assess it and the people there don’t listen to you shake the dust off your feet and move onto the next. I heard a sermon about this and the pastor was talking about what does that dust represent because in those days every road in every city was dusty. He used the analogy that the dust is like rejection it’s going to get on you and rejection hurts the soul in a way that other things do not. Its a deep deep hurt that turns into hard heartedness anger and bitterness and can make you not want to reach out and help people anymore. So he is saying that bitterness is going to get on you that rejection is going to get on you but don’t let it stay. He’s also saying If they don’t want your help MoveOn it doesn’t say unless of course it’s a spouse interesting! He was saying that some people take your help as trying to hurt them some people take your counsel as controlling them. This is what happens with ADHD spouses who do not take full responsibility for the treatment of their disability. I know it sucks! I know it’s not fair! I know it seems like a crappy hand dealt to you! But lots of things in life aren’t fair!!!
I’m also reminded of the scripture where Jesus says behold I stand at the door and knock and anyone who opens the door and lets me in I will sup with them. To me that is a picture of intimacy I want to come in to your home I want to share a meal and food and sustenance with you that’s a form of intimacy but guess what there is no intimacy if the door is not open and you’re not let in.
So my take away in this is that those of us that continue to carry our spouse take the blame the deflection the emotional rejection pick up all the pieces handle everything we are in just as much denial and we are killing ourselves for someone who doesn’t want the help.
Geturpcebck
Powerful post.
Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
..
Denial
Submitted by anteight on
Yes! His alcohol addiction has been well hidden. But we are also enabling those who refuse treatment for all the issues.
I agree with this
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
I spent many years in what I would liken to a denial phase. For me at least, these years were more about hope than blind denial. I could see what was happening and all the problems ADHD dynamics were causing, yet it seemed so treatable to me. I couldn't understand why my husband wouldn't want to improve his relationship... make that HAVE a relationship at all... with his wife and daughter. I knew what we had at the beginning (hyperfocus, sadly), and hoped we could have that again. I don't know... maybe this hope phase is a good thing for those with an ADHD spouse who wants to improve things and takes action. It's a lifelong effort so perseverance is probably a positive trait in the non spouse. However, for the rest of us with partners who can't or won't even begin to see the impact of ADHD, the faster we can get to acceptance, likely the better. Acceptance for me is heartbreaking, but I feel much healthier and know I am seeing things as they are rather than what they could be "only if."
Yes it is probably the most
Submitted by anteight on
Yes it is probably the most difficult place to get but also the most freeing once you are there.
Forgive me if this question
Submitted by JohnN on
Forgive me if this question is dense or insensitive, but you wrote:
"However, for the rest of us with partners who can't or won't even begin to see the impact of ADHD, the faster we can get to acceptance, likely the better."
Under those circumstances, are you really sure you should, or even can, accept that? Everyone's situation is unique, and everyone makes their own calls, but that sounds difficult at a level that produces nothing but disagreement, disrespect and detachment. Can you, or must you, really live that way?
For context, I'm the "with" person. It took 60 years to get the diagnosis, but I'm taking meds, working with a therapist and trying hard to change my habits. Some days it can be discouraging, but working discouraged is better than not working without self-awareness.
No worries!
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
Your question is completely appropriate. I thank you for that and I should have given some background on my situation. :) Yes, I accept that he will not change but you're right - I don't at all accept that this is the way I have to live forever. Once our daughter is old enough so that we wouldn't have to share custody (unfortunately he can't care for her on his own not to mention I think being with him on her own would be hard on her emotionally), I will leave.
I think that's why acceptance has been so healthy for me. I can make decisions for myself that are no longer tied up in what he does or doesn't do.
By the way, I admire how hard you are working. I hope you get great results from all your efforts.
Thank you for that - that's
Submitted by JohnN on
Thank you for that - that's transparently and perfectly understandable. Very unfortunate, but very rational and reasonable.
"However, for the rest of us
Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
Speaking from experience, acceptance brings a certain level of freedom and at the same time feels like a death to my heart.
To Adele
Submitted by jennalemone on
Speaking from experience, acceptance brings a certain level of freedom and at the same time feels like a death to my heart.
Amen!
Freedom sometimes means letting go. Acceptance sometimes means letting go. Being free of pain may mean that there is an end to something familiar...a familiar pain that has come to define us. Sometimes we are more afraid of the pain that we don't know than the pain that we know. But it is wise to walk through the pain rather than deny a reality that is causing chaos. I am learning and trying to take the emotion out of my relationship and that is a slow death. What do I replace it with? Letting go and being OK alone is better than holding on to something that is not there.
I complety agree with this. I
Submitted by PepperPots on
I complety agree with this. I'm happy being alone. I don't mind at all. I'd rather be alone and peaceful than together and chaotic.
Nigerian Princes MAY transfer millions of dollars to your bank
Submitted by Will It Get Better on
I believe part of the 'acceptance' is putting to rest the desperate hope the the ADHDer will suddenly recognize the depth of the corrosive impact their denied ADHD symptoms have on the lives of their spouse and children. 'Maybe this experience will do it', 'can you read this article?', 'Boy your account is overdrawn again...' and so on. Some people DO win the lottery, Nigerian Princes MAY transfer millions of dollars to your bank account if you give them your account information. But finally you 'accept' that you are not one of THOSE people and try to salvage whatever happiness you might find in what remains of your life. This 'acceptance' is a step up (but you are starting in a very low place.)
As Adele notes above how it kills the heart of the non-ADHD spouse. I believe it slowly corrodes the soul of the non-ADHDer and can leave one with merely a husk when there was once a 'self'.
Hi JohnN....
Submitted by c ur self on
Acceptance isn't about agreement....It's about believing what you see and experience....It allows a person to flush their expectations on certain individual's, based on their choices, and life style....No matter what they say w/ words....
c
I get that - my question was
Submitted by JohnN on
I get that - my question was more "under the circumstances, why not leave?" And the answer makes perfect sense to me (not that that is important, but it does!).
My ? Was
Submitted by anteight on
I apologize I left out a key factor from my post. I have left. And as far as continuing to enable I rather was continuing to have hope! That has run its course and is a course, I believe that has different lengths for everyone. Mine was 8 years.
Exactly, c
Submitted by jennalemone on
Acceptance isn't about agreement....It's about believing what you see and experience....It allows a person to flush their expectations on certain individual's, based on their choices, and life style....No matter what they say w/ words....
That is it exactly. It is lonely to live your life side by side with someone who just won't let you in. If the door is closed, it's closed.
What was it Dr. Phil said?
Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
What was it Dr. Phil said?
"People show you who they are."
It was Maya Angelou who said
Submitted by barneyarff on
It was Maya Angelou who said "When someone shows you who they are, believe them"
People’s limitations
Submitted by c ur self on
Most of us have lived long enough to realize, mankind cannot produce behaviors that aren't in his heart to be produced... I will always pursue what I hold dear... The problem for many of us is, we hold dear a person who has no ability to return that love and affection, because it's not in them on an unconditional level...So instead of seeing this reality clearly, we turn inward and ask ourselves what is wrong with us? ... Because we refuse to accept it's not in our power to do or say something to change another person... The ability to show love one to another, doesn't come from one another...(IMO) Every man and woman has a throne room in their heart, and someone is setting on that throne...When it's me setting there, that's the beginning of my sorrow's, and all who attempts to come near to me will suffer....
c
:)
Submitted by c ur self on
<3 <3 <3
Thank you
Submitted by anteight on
I appreciate all the comments. I sincerely hope all of us here can find peace in whatever choices are made. For me it feels as though no matter how much I "wish" things would be better I don't believe they ever will. I am heart broken over the loss of a future I thought I'd have. I know that is life and heartbreak is part of it. Just wish this was not the cause of it.
bless you all
I apologize that I'm a bit
Submitted by PepperPots on
I apologize that I'm a bit late in posting. I used to think that once my husband understood his ADD brain then he would have a desire to improve. He doesn't. To him, he's fine....I'm the problem. There's a lot of talk about accepting ADD in a relationship and that that's just "how they are". People say that if someone got cancer we wouldn't expect this or that out of them, etc. Well, guess what? ADD isn't cancer and it's ridiculous to compare them. After twelve years of living with an ADD spouse I can tell you that they can learn to manage their disordered brains. It won't be perfect, but the point is that they're genuinely trying and anything left is not their fault. That's when you can begin to compare ADD to cancer: when it's not a person's fault. However, when you have a spouse/partner that isn't interested in accountabulity, and many ADDers are not: that's where the trouble lies. My husband does not love me. He thinks he does based on his perception of reality, but it's not accurate. His perception comes from a disordered mind and what is normal to him is abnormal to me and most of our society. That's how we decide what "normal" is: when it conforms to a standard. My husband has very little desire to manage his ADD; it manages him. He HATES it, but won't change it. He refuses to eat nutritional foods, cut out the Monsters, exercise regularly, take an anti depressant, meditate or anything else that's good for him and us. He has zero self discipline and can't imagine a world where that lives. Oh, and he has a porn addiction. They always have an addiction don't they?
So......where do we as the non's draw the line? I'm drawing mine. It started two years ago when he decided to pick a fight with a kid speeding past our house. The kid came back with five adult males to get revenge. I was physically drawn into the fight and although I held my own I broke ribs and had bruising. My husband thought the whole thing was awesome! He's an idiot. I'm not afraid to fight, but only when necessary. These guys were drunk and they could've come with knives, guns, etc. What's ironic about the whole thing is that even drunk they had more sense than my ADD minded spouse sober.
For two years now it has been ugly at our house. When we fight we don't yell or scream or throw things, we fight quietly, but lately he's begun calling me a Bitch. That's new. I guess the pressure is getting to be to much. It's always struck me as odd that they can totally disrupt our lives, but never the opposite! I've been disrupting his life by putting the accountability back on him. Oh he hates that! That means he hates me, but I'm okay with that.
My point in all of my rambling is that ADDers want their cake and to eat it to. And because they tend to marry benevolent people they get it for a while, but once we realize we're out in the cold chopping up all the firewood while they're inside warming themselves (literally happens at my house), we get confused. At this point we try to reason with them. When that doesn't work we kick into high gear to find a solution, one that they will most likely never be interested in. It's a war that can't be won. Once my children are old enough I'm out the door to freeeeeeeedom!
Yes
Submitted by anteight on
Thank you for your response. I am so sorry that you have been living this for 12 years. It's so heartbreaking to see these patterns over and over again. I agree with the cancer comparison or any physical comparison. People can help themselves period!!!! There is no excuse for the self damage they do themselves which ultimately damages all of those around them. I think for them it's just to hard and there's this attitude of self entitlement that makes them believe they can't help it and it should just be accepted. Unfortunately in my situation in my own brokenness I resorted to verbally destructive habits. I got to the point that I thought nothing will change so I'm just going to be as mean as he is. He knew how to trigger me and then was able to use my bad reaction to justify himself and never really look at what my grievance was initially. No amount of calm talk or yelling belittling nagging gets thru. I wish I had not resorted to this however even if I had done everything "right" it would not have changed his drug/alcohol problem. His inability to be honest financially. I know this because he was these things before I came along. When he was single for ten years. The problem now is that he uses my destructive patterns as justification and being the victim. Especially since I "abandoned" him. I guess emotional abandonment doesn't count! Anyway I recently received 56 texts from him listing every awful thing I have ever done to him or said about him or anyone else in my life. Some things are accurate. Some are based on reasons that are inaccurate and some are plainly untrue and only assumptions. I have now been labeled as covert narcissist and bi polar disorder. He has supposedly been studying this for a year now. I have written him a letter with deep regret for my words that hurt him so deeply. I did not make excuses nor did I blame. However he states that I'm not taking full responsibility and that I only did for myself. Sigh..... it's interesting also that although he says I am not specific enough about my part I've yet hear any specifics from him when he say "I know I've made mistakes"??? Well the hypocrisy is astounding and I've come to realize there is. I breaking thru. I'm seeking diligently counseling for myself and finding it very difficult!!!! Feeling frustrated as I want to get in with my own healing and am hitting such roadblocks.
anyway sorry for rambling. I appreciate you taking time to respond. Hang in there!!!!! You will survive and hopefully soon move into living!
This is where I'm at right
Submitted by PepperPots on
This is where I'm at right now; fighting back verbally. Like you, I sunk to new depths I didn't even know I was capable of. I have some regret, but only because I spoke out in anger at the time. I hope I'm not misunderstanding that part of your post. When I wait until I'm calm to say something to my spouse, it goes much better. After holding it in for so long though, it sometimes just takes over. When I started writing on here six or so years ago, I still really loved my husband, but that has changed since then. It began changing several years ago when it became clear that he didn't want to make any changes for the family or his marriage. I feel bad for him, actually. His mother has alienated everyone of her children and family members, there's no one left that will put up with her. My husband is on the same course: our two grown daughters don't speak to him, our 14 year old is very hurt by him, our 12 year old daughter is angry with the way he treats me and wants me to leave him and my ten year old son sees his siblings reactions and is confused. He loves his Dad, but....I think my husband is going to follow in his mother's footsteps and alienate everyone in his life and he will die alone. That is sad. I cannot help that. When I'm not having fantasies that involve a cast iron frying pan and his head, I really do feel sorry for him. I believe in forgiveness and continual forgiveness. I truly believe in everything Jesus Christ taught and I do my best to live like Him, but even Job got a reprieve. ♥️
Yes
Submitted by anteight on
Pepper
yes you understood what I said. I got pretty nasty and yes I regret it. Calm talking never stayed calm due to his constant minimising deflection excuses etc. anyway I would highly recommend checking out Leslie Vernick and Patrick Doyle. Both bible believing Christians that have given me sooooooo much clarity on our type of marriage.
Pepper....
Submitted by c ur self on
Your post stated what it's like about as good as it could be stated....The only thing here is after 12 + years I've recently called it quits (And I'm at peace with that)....It's like you said about your husband....My wife doesn't love me....I feel like she is capable of love, (Sisters, children, grand children) just not me (probably most any husband she couldn't control)...The mind she has doesn't effect short visits (although she usually gets on people's nerves (mostly our adult children) w/ her constant control and manipulations attempts...(Pressing a group w/ what she's hyper focusing on, usually some kind of game)....She is lovable as a friend....Someone to laugh with, but, even they take her promises or any plans they make w/ a grain of salt....Can't manage her life, can't remember, can't get up etc.....Never holds herself accountable always just excuses it.....You can ignore that if it's just an occasional thing w/ a friend....But it's so destructive in an 24/7 marriage relationship...
Sorry about the fight....If I run across your path I will say Yes ma'ma,....LOL...
c
I'm sorry about you deciding
Submitted by PepperPots on
I'm sorry about you deciding to leave your wife (did I understand that right?). What made you finally decide? I got the impression you were in it for the long haul. Actually, I'm sorry it didn't work out, not that you decided enough was enough. How is she taking it? What about the extended family?
I’ve asked her to leave...
Submitted by c ur self on
I've always been the one attempting to hold it together, encourage unity and marital sharing... It's just time to face reality... I had a wife ( late wife) for thirty years before I met her.., (Real Love is always a mutual act of two desirous people sharing themselves)... I've read tons of descriptions the past 6 years about what it's like being married to a mind that just has no desire to put loving effort into the marriage.,, All of them were good... But someone not to far removed said their spouse was so in love with themselves basically there was no room for anyone else, esp, them, the spouse.,, As much as I hate it, that reality has finally broke me... I love her and wish her well, but I'm not going to live like a room mate or part time friend, just because the joys of marriage, and togetherness is to boring for her...That's about the jest of it... I hope u are well Pepper....I texted all 4 of our grown children and made them aware....( Didn't want them blindsided) I kept it simple and told them, I didn't really want or expect any reply's..,,One did reply, her oldest.. He is much like her many ways...He was upset, I just told him he could never comprehend it without living it...He only knows her as Mother...And that's good..,They need to stay close... My two and her youngest didn't reply... Those three have seen enough that they are just wanting it to go away...They loves us both and just want us to be happy, and live in peace...Maybe that can happen now Lord willing... It may take her a while to accept it and move back in to her empty house... But for the most part we aren't speaking....
c
Prayers
Submitted by anteight on
C
oraying for you. I know hard this is. The absolute heartbreak and grief over what we know could be but won't. I can tell you four weeks from the other side I have can breath. I have clarity that I've haven't ever had in my life actually. Stay in touch if possible and keep us updated on your progress!
Thank you anteight!
Submitted by c ur self on
Prayers much appreciated...<3 <3 <3
c
So sorry, C
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry it has come to this, C. Even when we know it is the right thing, it isn't easy. I hope you find some relief and peace with this decision.
: (
Submitted by AdeleS6845 on
I know what a heartbreakingly difficult this decision must have been for you. You are in my prayers, c.
c peace and happiness
Submitted by jennalemone on
Happy for you C. Hope you find peace and new steadiness in your life. I am relieved for you.
Oh, and the fight....the kids
Submitted by PepperPots on
Oh, and the fight....the kids mom showed up and engaged me. It wasn't me against some men. They men weren't so drunk they would hurt a woman. I'm sure they are actually decent people, but we're drawn into an unfortunate situation because my husband doesn't control himself.
Bless you for helping all of us
Submitted by Will It Get Better on
C, Thank you for being such a loving 'voice of reason' on this site over the last years. As hard as breaking up a marriage is, in my experience after 18 months of separation and 9 months since the divorce was finalized my soul has calmed and I can now look to the future hopefully. While there are no guarantees I no longer wake up dreadfully each morning wondering 'What massively stressful thing will be brought to my attention today?' I've also seen my ADHD ex-wife alienate some of our children. It is a reality that can not be explained to outsiders. The grinding constancy regardless of input is disspiriting. Enjoy your grand children!
To each of you that replied....
Submitted by c ur self on
You guy's are awesome...I appreciate your prayers and concern more than you know....I know my choice's in this life, will follow me into eternity....But, under the circumstance's of our marriage, walking away from her now and allowing her to face the adult responsibilities life will bring, is the best gift I can give us both....It's a lot of mixed emotions for me right now.....I hate it has to be this way, But, I'm at peace with the fact it needs to happen.....What is going on between us isn't a marriage....Marriages have always, and will always take two doing the work....No one man or women can do that alone.....
Blessings
c
Guilt
Submitted by anteight on
C
i want to say that I understand your comment "my choices will follow me into eternity ". We have been programmed to believe we are to stay in abusive marriages by the church. Please don't buy into that. I'm realizing the idolatry of an institution over the person! Let me give an example: Jesus suffered on the cross willingly because it was for the greater good of all humanity and it was HIs primary purpose! There were other times in his ministry when he fled suffering because it did not serve a greater good!!!! Suffering for good is expected. Suffering for the sake of suffering with no good outcome to either party is denial. I find it interesting that the "legalists" literally through out the entire content of scripture except 4-5 verses in application to marriage! Let me give another example: if you or I had an adult child that was abusive to us in our home and we went to the church they would say " you are enabling them" don't give them money. They would not say be more patient. Die to yourself love them more by being nicer!!!!! No no no! Yet in an abusive marriage that's what we are told to do. Especially women. I was literally told to be more submissive!!!! You know what that does? Tells the abuser I'm ok and the abused " you are responsible for their change". It's maddening! Also I believe we have to enact the consequences without expectation of outcome. The consequence is loving toward ourself and them but without true conviction from God alone even consequence may not make the person wake up. We have to trust God with our soul and trust God with theirs.
love you brother! Don't live in guilt. I'm there too trying to get out of it! But who is the accuser? Not God
thank you anteight for your love and concern <3
Submitted by c ur self on
When it comes to God's will, and the reality of Spiritual eternity....I try to just hear the words of Jesus....I will not be carrying any guilt, thanks to his Grace and Mercy....Everything I do though needs to honor and be in obedience to the words of life...(sadly, not that it does, I know I didn't have to say that:) lol) I'm not leaving for selfish reason's...I'm leaving so the light of truth has a better chance to shine into dark places.....
c
Find a counselor with extensive experience with ADHD patients
Submitted by Will It Get Better on
You are a 'special case' in that you have lived daily trauma related to receiving your spouse's ADHD reality. People on this site can immediately relate to the depth of what that experience means to your psyche and your soul. Your counselor must also be very familar with these issues so as to competently guide you towards healing yourself. I pray you find someone to whom you can profitably 'open up'. Bless you.
Will it get better
Submitted by anteight on
Yes I am working on that now. Finances are tough so praying God open doors in that area. Thank you for your prayers. Me heart is hurting so much as I begin to let go of the hopes I had and move into an unknown future.
Physically Challenged vs. Mentally
Submitted by Susanna Kate He... on
I understand what you are saying but I would add to your analogy. The person that is missing a limb has to go through the physical hardship and pain, but you left out HOW they were able to procure the artificial limb. What if they didn't have a car, or a friend to take them or a bus route to get them to the doctor...? Now, their physical impediment is TRULY an obstacle to getting the support and the resources in the first place. To a "non", it may seem very easy to simply "choose' to get the help or not to, but, in my reality, I have to overcome the obstacle to even begin getting the help and support in the 1st place. I have to layer in additional focuses, schedules and pit stops in my day/week that I am struggling to get through already.
Physically challenged vs mentally challenged
Submitted by anteight on
I would love to address this! First please note your first sentence "I understand what you are saying BUT" yep!
I can't speak for you however let me give a little picture of our life when we were together!
my H would say things like "you know my work is stressful" " I don't have time to take care of my (although it would never really was said as his responsibilities) because I get so many calls and texts during the day and you work less so what can't you take care of this or that. Well let's see! He can't get his paycheck in the bank most of the time on payday or make his dentist appt or take care of the oil leak in his truck that's been there for a year! Can't check mail can't get dinner started on time on days I'm at work and he's home BUT oh hey I have time to spend my entire weekends and evenings mixing and recording music. I have time to once a week go to friends for band practice. I might add no song has been finished in six years and no gigs have been played out in same amount of time. Oh I listened to this hour long YouTube video while driving from one client to the next. Yeah I listen to a lot of YouTube videos because you know in my job I drive a lot and in the office there's a lot of waiting on things I'm doing. He's in IT! Hmmmmmm also he has all day Saturday to himself yet even getting the kitchen cleaned would be half asses. Ie dishes all rinsed but then piled on the counter. Somehow couldn't make it into the empty dishwasher. Oh yeah had time to apply for a credit card behind my back and then lie about the limit and then already late on first payment????
Never on the one day off a week together did we do stuff together. NEVER! Sorry if he has time for all of his interests he has time to fix an oil leak in a year time to maybe once check the mail. Maybe put the dishes in the dishwasher. It's not in another room for gods sake. Maybe spend one day going out of the house with his spouse. Maybe instead of listening to hours of YouTube's videos and spending days on projects that go on for years maybe take ten minutes out to handle a responsibility!!!!!
so no I don't buy it! Sorry if I sound bitter but 8 years of handling everything (even legal issues between him and his ex! Seriously!!!! ) because he has no time! That's a typical bs response.
Your response sound like reality to me anteight....
Submitted by c ur self on
We don't have to get emotionally stirred because we are tired of being thoughtlessly used, by a lazy excuse making, concession seeking individual....What created the negative energy in me for so long, was subjecting myself to it, hoping for a change..... (a miracle)....I'm still hoping and praying for the miracle, but, you will have to excuse me while I step away from the fallout so I can care for myself....
A wise man or women will eventually see the light of their self inflicted suffering....
c
Obstacles....
Submitted by c ur self on
There is always obstacles in life....But, the results of our wellness is usually more attached to the level of importance we place on the **need** then the obstacles....If I think my living of life in fine, (the way I interact w/ my spouse and others) then the obstacles will always over power my view of the need....Even if most everyone that loves me would say the need is a desperate one......
c