Advice

I've  with my bf over 2 years and he has A.D.D, not ADHD because they are different he tells me. I am the sole cause of all of his problems. I walk around on egg shells all the time because if i say anything with attitude or pulling my face, thats it im broken and defective because i dont understand his issues, my brother has ADHD so I've experienced it before. I have a bad attutude, i dont listen, i belittle him, i ignore him, I've forced him to think of suicide. Its now become physical and he strangled me recently bacause i moved something of his, and he immediately said he didn't strangle me despite marks on my neck. I cant cope, no matter what i do its wrong or  ive done it on purpose to trigger an argument. I was in an abusive  relationship for nearly 20 years before him so i recognise the signs but it makes him worse when i mention his behaviour, but i caused him to react this way. He hasnt had Ritalin in 4 years, refusing counselling because i cause his problems. I'm now at the point where i need to leave or i will seriously hurt him. Im terrified every day. This can't  be normal surely?