I have recently come across two articles that I think you would all benefit from that explain emotional regulation in adults with ADHD.  One is by Russell Barkley and explores the history and biology of emotional dysregulation as a core element of ADHD.  The other is an overview of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria by William Dodson, M.D.  Dodson has been quite vocal about RSD in the last few years and is considered the top expert on the topic.  Both articles discuss the different between mood disorders and emotional dysregulation in ADHD, which can be helpful if you're trying to figure out what is going on in yourself or your partner.