Coping W/PTSD and ADHD

I feel for others on this form. After my relationship now ending, I can see how having PTSD with ADHD caused it to be very difficult for me to not become defensive when my partner was acting out his own issues. I am just unable to explain what it is like to have both. From asking him to not suddenly touch me from behind or I Yelp like I might be being attacked to not wanting to watch Gorey tv or gory cartoons. My nerves got shot quickly just from loud then soft volume levels on shows. He just couldn't understand. And unfortunately blamed me in an abusive manner more often than not. I really felt like I was a problem to him most of the time. I am sad, but the smothered type of relationship we had, I will not tolerate again