Easily accessible anywhere, often fun to interact with, and providing a neutral structure for learning or organizing, these apps can help with specific issues you face:
Brili - Created for families as a motivational and task organizer, Brili helps people understand and become more comfortable with the steps it takes to get something done. It's great for tracking regular tasks, as well as not having to re-imagine the steps needed to move through a routine each time you do it - a valuable time saver for a person with ADHD who struggles with 'reinventing the wheel' every time they approach a routine. One woman I spoke with said one way she used it was to set up a night time routine so it could become a habit. She put every step of getting ready for bed (and putting out clothes for the next day) into the app, significantly lessening the stress of having to think through it every night. Over time, the consistency of the approach helped her efficiently master the routine she wanted to set up.
OurHome - The OurHome app cleverly gamifies family tasks, providing motivation to complete one's responsibilities with a points system. Adults and kids using the app can see how many points others have, and keeping up with your points (and tasks) can become a fun and friendly competition. OurHome assigns specific tasks to specific people, tracks progress, coordinates calendars, and more. One woman told me "When my partner sees that I'm pulling ahead in the number of points I've earned for the week he immediately jumps on completing more of his tasks so he doesn't fall behind!"
YNAB, Mint and PersonalCapital - quantifying your spending and available income can help calm financial disagreements as well as save you money. These three apps/programs provide powerful tools to automatically track spending (by loading credit card and bank account information in real time); set up spending goals and track progress against them; and (Mint) send alerts when you start to reach your spending limit for the month. PersonalCapital can also provide insight into retirement savings needed and other critical information for your financial health. For couples arguing over whether or not money should be spent, or whether enough is being saved for retirement, these programs help move the conversation from opinion to hard fact. Note, YNAB has a monthly fee.
Rena-Fi coursework and coaching - Some money issues are emotional - trouble controlling the impulse to spend; not thinking through risk, etc. Rena-Fi is not an app, but an online educational company started specifically to help adults with ADHD improve their money management. This is a subscription-based service.
Google Calendar - coordinating events in a busy family can be aided with Google Calendar. Families can create multiple calendars that can be switched on or off for a full view. For example, you might keep your business calendar in Google Calendar, and then have a separate calendar for family events and obligations such as driving or dinners out that is shared with your partner. All calendars can be viewed simultaneously (and color coded) so that you can see the 'master' plan for all obligations or just those on a specific calendar. Everything in one place, and easy to access on any device.
Headspace, and UCLA Mindful app (free): Mental health apps are a real mixed bag. The best ones are those based in research and that have been tested. Some useful ones for adults with ADHD and their partners include these mindfulness apps mentioned here, as well as CBT Thought Diary (for changing those negative stories we carry around about ourselves) and PTSD Coach. Breathe2Relax is a useful app that teaches and supports belly breathing for self calming.
Lasting is an app that helps couples regularly spend a little bit of time connecting and paying attention to their relationship. It includes fun activities, education and more.
MORE APPS!
COZI is an easy family calendar to share.
Amazon Alexa makes it easy to add items to lists and calendars and more by just saying them aloud, removing the need to find a list and add to it. Amazon now has the Alexa Echo Show which, while pricey, puts all that stuff onto a wall mounted monitor so it's easy to stumble upon visually, as well. The few couples I've talked with who have tried it, love it.
Clear: Minimalist Task Manager is a good app for keeping basic things in order.
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Comments
Additional Apps
Submitted by laowailiubei on
Some apps that I have been finding helpful that might not be considered here.
Lark (in Chinese Feishu)
- This is a free app more for managing a business organization, but what this means is that you can actually manage your home as a small business.
- You can have your own personal calendar, shared calendars, etc just like with Google Apps.
- It has a task management section where tasks can be split into groups, and also subscribed across family members. Want to add a bit of accountability to yourself (or ask for a bit of support)? Add the task into a shared area your non-ADHD spouse can see and know when it is done.
- Messaging tools so if communication face to face is difficult you can message.
- Budgeting tools, including a purchase request tool. If you want to make a large impulse buy you can instead add it to the app so both partners can sign off and agree to the purchase.
- Loads of other features too such as the usual documents, spreadsheets, etc, and I am still exploring them. However the key ones for me are the shared calendar & task manager features.
- Works across platforms, so my phone, PC, Mac, web, etc. So no excuses for me to be able to manage it.
Obsidian (Notion too and many other alternatives)
- This is a note taking app which can link information together. It can be quite overwhelming for me (ADHD) to use at first, but as I have begun structuring my life a bit more it is helpful to drop things in and also use as a bit of a digital journal. Journalling really seems to help with my own emotional regulation.
- It is also possible to share docs using this app too, so some journalling could be a shared project as a couple or family.
Facebook / Google Photos / iCloud
- This is something I realised recently when looking through the cloud storage of my phones trying to understand what went wrong, but also looking back and realising how I felt at certain times based on the images I was capturing on my phone. Several dates of happy family photos = things were going okay. Periods of photos of drinking alone in bars = I was lonely, depressed and needing more support. Pornographic images & worse = I was out of control, chasing dopamine and (in hindsight) wish there was an intervention at the time. The pictures tell a story about how things are and I wasn't looking back and reviewing. My brain can forget memories and focuses on strong emotions forgetting the good times meaning that the dopamine chasing times of loneliness would get worse.
Using the photo storage in a different way you can - share the cloud access with your partner for greater accountability and to help improve trust ongoing. But also group the memories together and have regular review sessions as a family. As a familiy you can reinforce those positive memories captured by the phone cameras and help to set positive thinking & behaviour ongoing.
Shimmer (please note: I have NOT yet used this app)
- From what I can understand this app seems to be an accountability tool where you pay to schedule a weekly call with an "ADHD Coach" who then checks you are meeting the goals you set, helps you track on the app the goals for the following week. It sounds like it could be very useful for me when my therapy session block ends and I need to have ongoing accountability to my self-management which is separate from my (ex)spouse, friends, or family. Whilst it is amazing that people want to support me with managing my condition, I do not want to burden them overly; an app like this sounds perfect for that.
- Has anyone tried it and can give feedback?