My spouse was newly diagnosed with ADHD about 6 months ago and prescribed adderall. It's been beneficial for them in a lot of aspects of their life (schoolwork, energy levels, help around the house), but they've withdrawn from our relationship 100% and is now contemplating divorce. They claim that they're thriving in all aspects of life except for our marriage and they just don't feel any desire to spend time with me anymore. They claim that they don't see how they can work through the damage done pre-ADHD diagnosis (typical non-ADHD spouse behavior, nagging, negativity, parent/child dynamic). It just doesn't seem like a coincidence that a few months after starting adderall they seemingly change their tune on our relationship. I desperately love my spouse and want this marriage to work, but with my spouse completely shutting me out it's seeming less and less possible. I've always been best friends with them, but they seem like a completely different person the last few months. Has anyone else experienced something similar in a personality change after a spouse newly starts medication??
Adderall Impacting Marriage
Submitted by newgirl15 on 09/04/2022.
So when I went on medication
Submitted by DKinsella40 on
So when I went on medication it was like the world finally made sense and it does feel like it alters your personality a bit. I can finally pay attention and remember things that I once second guessed. The thing about medication is it is just one part of the equation. The other half is behavior modification and that takes a good therapist so you can work through those issues.
Medication Woes
Submitted by Exhausting on
Hi, yes I have experienced something similar with my spouse, who has been prescribed Vyvanse and is on 40mg/day dose. I have found that, whilst it appears to be helping him to focus at work during the day, the stimulant is making him hyperfocus on just one thing .. all day everyday talking about one interest and one interest only. If I don't show the same level of interest, or speak when he is listening to something related to the interest, he literally goes bananas. Calls me the most disgusting names (grub and scum are two that come to mind). As an example, last night he was intently focusing on something on his phone (related to this interest) and then he started talking and talking about it. I had chosen a TV program I wanted to watch after he had been watching all his programs all afternoon. As he keeps talking, I pause the program as I can't hear it over his talking anyway. He then takes offence that I appeared to be put out about his talking. It just escalated and escalated for no reason whatsoever. I find that these meds make him too agitated.
When does he take the medication?
Submitted by Will It Get Better on
If he takes his medication in the morning you may be experiencing him in the evening when most of the medication's effects have worn off.
Sounds more like a typical ADHD behaviour
Submitted by Giorgia on
Hi yes so this sounds more like a typical ADHD behaviour than the side effect of pills. It's more like later at the end of the day the pills has no effect anymore at the evening may be? And yes sounds very much like he has been hyperfocusing on one thing while not paying attention to the rest of the world, seems like he is not acknowledging your side of experience and he sees mostly his thoughts and he assumes you see into his head... Another typical patterns as I know them. Overreacting, very sensitive, needs full attention on what he is preoccupied with while not taking into account you might be interested in something else, and taking it personally when you get bored by his talking. Lack of proper conversation where two people react to each other. He is having his monologue and gets agitated when you are not all excited about it. What can I say, am I mean?
Agreed
Submitted by Exhausting on
No, you are not mean, just speaking from personal experience and great observations! This is definitely my experience also. He takes his medication around 5am to be effective throughout the day but it wears off mid afternoon which is better for him otherwise he can't sleep.